AllFreeNovel
Share Us
That’s it, I’m officially the worst fucking friend in the history of friends. I feel like a piece of shit lying to him, but at the same time I know I can’t tell him either. It’s a horrible position to be in. Though I only have myself to blame. I spent all of high school resisting Barlow at every turn, then she moves in with us and, boom, it’s like a bomb went off inside my brain and everything is in shambles.
“Hard to say. You know Barlow. She’s pretty private about things like that.” He blows out a hard breath.
“Yeah, probably because she’s afraid if she tells you about a guy you’ll scare him off.” I force a laugh, trying really hard to seem normal when I feel anything but.
“I’m not that bad, am I?”
“Not really,” I admit. “You keep an eye out for her but I can’t ever remember a time where you told her she couldn’t date someone. Maybe that she shouldn’t, but never that she couldn’t.”
I can’t stop myself from wondering if the same would apply to me. Would he be okay with me dating his sister? Not that I want to date her necessarily. Right now we’re just having fun. Then again, I do genuinely enjoy spending time with her, even when I’m not balls deep inside of her. And that’s saying something.
I shake off the thought, knowing that I’m not the kind of man that settles down and commits to one person. It’s not who I am. And while I’ll be sad when this little game of ours ends, I’ve known from the moment it started that itwillend. It has to. There’s no other way around it.
“So maybe that’s not it then,” he muses. “Fuck man, who knows. Chicks are complicated.” He smiles and I instantly start to relax.
I hate that it’s like this. That I feel tense and paranoid around my best friend, the man who is like a brother to me. I hate lying to him. I hate keeping him in the dark. But I love fucking Barlow more, as fucked up as that sounds.
What can I say? I’m a selfish bastard. Runs in my blood, if history is to prove anything.
“That they are,” I agree. Deciding I can’t drink another sip of this nasty fucking tar, I push to a stand and head to the kitchen, dumping the remaining coffee into the sink. “What time is the party again?” I ask as I rinse out my cup and place it into the dishwasher.
“You know how these parties are, man. Show up when you show up, leave when you leave. Rita is meeting us here at eight if that helps.”
“You guys wanna ride over with me?”
“I was thinking we’d just walk, honestly.” He shrugs. “It’s what, like a twenty minute walk tops?”
“Yeah.” I nod, figuring that’s probably a pretty close estimation.
“Plus, the weather is supposed to be pretty decent. I figured that way everyone can have a couple drinks and no one has to worry about driving.”
“And how’s your girl gonna get home afterward? It’s a pretty far trek to the dorms.”
“She’s crashing here tonight.”
My footsteps falter as I make my way back into the living room.
“Fuck.” I grin at my best friend. “Thisisserious.”
“Fuck you, man. I’ve spent the night with girls before.”
“True, but you’ve never planned for it to happen and usually it was at some rando’s house, not in your own bed. You really like this girl.”
I know he’s fucked when he leans forward and drops his head into his hands.
“I really do.” He groans, peering up at me through a mess of sandy blond hair. “I can’t help it, man. She’s fucking incredible.”
“There’s nothing to be helped. If you’ve found someone that makes you happy, fuck everything else.”
“But this is college. Freshman year. I’m supposed to be out having a good time, not tying myself down within the first semester.”
“Sometimes that’s just how shit happens.” I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table in front of him. “Let me ask you this. Do you have any desire to see other girls?”
“No.” He squares his shoulders, his answer instant.
“Do you see a hot girl walk by and thinkdamn, if only I were single?”
“No.”
