AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Come here.” Without giving me an answer, he tugs me into his lap. I go willingly, throwing my leg over his so that I’m straddling him. “I never saw myself as a one woman man. I can honestly say I’ve never been tempted to settle down with one person. This life isn’t built for families and happy endings. When you love someone, you have a weakness. And people will use it against you the first opportunity they have.”
“Like you did with my father.”
“Yes.” He pauses, taking a deep breath. “I never wanted to drag someone into that. To make my selfishness more important than their safety. But I also never thought I’d meet someone that could not only survive this type of life but thrive in it. But you, little bird. You were made for this life. Hell, I think maybe you were made for me.”
My heart melts into a puddle of mush inside my chest.
Without replying, I lean down, pressing my lips to his.
I have no idea what the future holds. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or even in the next five minutes for that matter. All I know is that at some point I went from being held against my will, to wanting to be here. So much so that walking away feels like it would be impossible.
My life was nothing before this.
Mundane. Boring. Lackluster.
I just didn’t realize it at the time.
Before Mateo, everything was black and white.
Now I see the world in blazing color.
He’s changed me so much over the last month.
This world has changed me.
I’ve seen things I never dreamed I would see. Experienced things I never thought I’d experience. Learned things about myself I never even knew were there. Even if I wanted to go back, I don’t think I could. I don’t think the person I am now could fit into the life I lived before this. Because that person no longer exists.
——
“HOW MUCH LONGER AREwe going to stay here?” I ask, snuggling deeper into Mateo’s embrace. We’ve been lying in bed for hours, neither of us able to sleep despite being tired, but also not able to find the motivation to get up.
“As long as we have to.”
It’s been five days.
Five long yet wonderful days.
Things have continued to evolve between Mateo and me. With every passing day we grow closer, share more.
He’s told me stories about his mom. Confided in me about the struggles he had with his father. What it was like to grow up in a cartel, knowing one day it would be his. And while he’s every bit the powerful, dangerous man I feared when I first arrived at the compound, he’s also shown me that there’s so much more to him.
He’s strong. Stronger than most. Fearless. Loyal. And his heart, well, let’s just say it’s bigger than anyone probably knows. He cares. About his men. About his business. And about me... Or at least I’m pretty sure he does.
“But what if my father never comes?”
“He will.”
He’s so sure. His stance on this hasn’t changed over the past couple of days. I can tell it’s wearing on him. The uncertainty. The knowledge that something is coming but not knowing when. For someone used to controlling every aspect, I can tell it’s got him out of sorts to be at the mercy of someone else’s decisions.
“But what if he doesn’t? We can’t hide out here forever.” If I’m being honest, I feel like this is never going to be over.
And while no part of me relishes the idea of Mateo killing my father, I also know that it’s inevitable, unless I can change it somehow.
I’ve thought about it several times. If there were a way to protect both men. If there were a way to find peace if they shared a common bond. Like me.
I don’t pretend to know if I’m that important to either man, but a part of me would like to think I am. And if I’m being honest, I want the chance to know my father. I want to decide the kind of man he is for myself. I feel like I deserve that much.
Unfortunately, I don’t know that I’ll get that chance. And in a way, that’s really difficult for me to accept.
