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“And saved the rest of his family. Besides, Dimitri hated his father.”
“Oh.” I pause. “I wasn’t aware.”
“He was a vile, ruthless man. His priority was the cartel, never his family. He left them near penniless while he lavished in the life of luxury his position provided him with. They struggled to keep a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. When he did go home... Well, let’s just say he wasn’t a kind man. Dimitri doesn’t hate me for killing his father. If anything, he feels indebted to me for it. Now, he never has to worry if his family is taken care of. They don’t have to worry about losing their home or finding their next meal. They will be taken care of and protected for the rest of their lives. I did that for him.”
“He didn’t tell me all of that.”
“If my father had been alive, he knows that he and his family would have paid the price for his father’s sins. Fair or not, that is our way. But I am not my father. I don’t view mercy as a weakness. I showed Dimitri and his family mercy, and in return I have a loyal soldier who I know would give his life for mine without hesitation. I want to change the narrative. I don’t want to keep making the same mistakes as the men who came before me. But I’m not naïve enough to believe that I can stop the bloodshed entirely. That’s not possible. But if I can stop the innocent from being punished because of the guilty, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“That all sounds great in theory, but it’s also a little hypocritical.”
“How so?”
“I’m innocent.”
He blows out a hard breath.
“Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do for the greater good.”
“And killing my father is for the greater good?”
“You don’t understand the kind of man he is. If you did, you’d be lining up to put a bullet in his head right beside me.”
“No, I wouldn’t. Because I don’t think I could ever justify taking a life unless I had no other choice.”
“With Esteban, I don’t have another choice.”
“And with Danny?” I hate to bring it up again, but per usual, my mouth says what it wants and to hell with what my brain thinks.
“We’ve been through that. I can try to be better, to do better, but like I told you...”
“Fear is power. If the men don’t fear you, they won’t respect you,” I finish his sentence for him.
“I can’t run this cartel without getting blood on my hands. It’s a necessary evil and one that I’ve accepted. But I’m determined to wipe out this old school mentality that death is the answer to everything. It isn’t. Because what follows death is more death. Retaliation. Never ending wars. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps repeating itself.”
“And you want to break the cycle?”
“I do. But I can’t do that with Esteban in the picture. He has made it his mission to weaken the Rivera Cartel at every turn. It’s only gotten worse since he killed my father. Missing shipments. Soldiers found brutally murdered. Turning my men against me.”
“Why do they go to him? Why turn on you to work for my father?”
“Some of these men feed on the violence. Hell, they live for it. To them, I’m weak.”
“Then clearly they don’t see the bigger picture. I think what you’re doing makes you incredibly strong. You’re a good man, Mateo Rivera. And that should mean a lot coming from your prisoner.”
“You’re not just my prisoner, little bird. You have to know that by now.”
“And when it’s all over? What then?”
“I guess that part will be up to you.”
My heart and head are at odds.
My head says there’s no way I could stay. But my heart... Well, that’s another story entirely.
I know Mateo is not the hero in this story. I know the kind of man he is. But I also know he is the first person in my life to ever be truly honest with me- about my past, about my father, about who I really am. And while I can’t overlook all the bad he’s done, at the end of the day, sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
“Do you want me to stay?” I ask, searching his face for some kind of sign.
