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He exhales a deep breath and shrugs again. “I don’t know that either. I would visit as often as I could. I can promise you that.”
“I hope so.” I smile weakly. “But it wouldn’t be nearly as often as if I stayed.”
Az offers me his hand, and I let him pull me into his lap. He holds me against his chest, his chin resting on the top of my head, and I’m instantly comforted. My worries melt away. My problems seem miniscule. Everything pales in comparison to the safety I feel being this close to him.
“I won’t pretend like I don’t want you to stay here,” he says. “But I also want you happy.”
He runs his fingers up and down my thigh.
“Being torn away from your entire life is hard,” he continues. “If that’s where you want to be, I’m still going to do everything I can to get you there, but there’s nothing wrong with staying. People embark on new adventures every day without looking back.”
“That’s the problem.”
I pull away to look at him. His face is only a few inches from mine, and I’m instantly lost in his eyes. I doubt I could ever tire of looking at them.
“I don’t know what to do,” I say. “Choosing both you and Elio was such an easy choice. I can’t imagine not having one or the other. But bouncing back and forth between realms would be nearly impossible. We would always be in danger.”
“And if that’s what it takes to make things work, I’ll do it. You know I will,” he says, running his fingers along my jawline. “But if you’re not ready to decide, then don’t. No one is rushing you.”
Instead of letting me answer, he closes the distance between us and catches my lips with his. I pull him against me, snaking a hand behind his neck to deepen our kiss, and I try to convey all the emotions that are churning through me as our lips move together. All of the fear, excitement, love, lust, worry. I pour all of it into that kiss and pray he understands everything I’m not able to say.
ChapterSeventeen
Devyn
Rafe is gone for three days, and every one of them is glorious.
Being able to walk around the mansion without worrying about his hungry eyes on me is such a relief that I’ve started prancing around the place naked. What’s the point in wearing clothes if either one of your mates might drag you into an unoccupied room and strip them off at any moment?
There’s not much of one in my opinion.
We’re hanging out in Elio’s room, looking over the warlock’s book of marks when Elio and Azarius’s heads snap up. They exchange nervous glances, and Azarius hurries to the window overlooking the front yard.
“What is it?” I ask, looking between them, but something tells me I already know the answer. I’ve only ever seen them that anxious a few times.
“Rafe’s back,” he says. “There goes the fun.”
“How do you know?” I didn’t hear any noises or anything to indicate someone arriving, so I’m mildly confused. Maybe their hearing is way better than mine, which makes me nervous. If they can hear a door close on the first floor, everyone in the mansion has surely heard me crying out while getting railed.
Oops.
“Well, for one, I’m looking at him,” Azarius says, his eyes still trained out the window. “And, for two, we can sense when monsters are nearby. It’s like our blood calls to other monsters.”
“The more powerful the monster, the stronger the call,” Elio adds. “Rafe is very powerful, so we can sense him from a longer distance than most.”
“That’s… terrifying,” I say. “Sneaking up on anyone is out of the question then.”
Azarius nods. “Just another reason why Rafe sends us to do a lot of his bidding. Everyone can tell when he moves. It’s easier for us to get in and out.”
“Speaking of in and out, we’d better go greet him and see if he needs anything,” Elio says, hopping to his feet off the side of the bed. “We’ll come right back if you want to stay here.”
“Sure,” I say, my eyes falling back to the book. “It’s not like I have anything else to do.”
The boys sweep out of the room, closing the door behind them, and I’m left alone. Being away from them both at the same time feels strange, and a tug in my stomach urges me to follow after them, but I have no interest in seeing Rafe. I’m sure he doesn’t want to see me either.
It’s best if I wait here.
I flip through the pages, my eyes glazing over at all the different marks. There are tiny notes written by some of them, but only part of the scrawl is in English. The rest is written in the ancient, symbolic language of the warlocks.
