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“But you have to consider the alternative, Irissa,” she goes on, a serious look in her eyes. “What if they’re nothing like we’ve imagined? What if they’re loving, compassionate creatures who want the best for their people, just like we do? What if they’re acting on something we don’t understand because we aren’t living it?”
Her questions sink in my stomach like anchors, and I try my best to consider them. It’s difficult to imagine, considering I have nothing but resentment for the entire species, but if I want to be at all kind and compassionate like my mother, I have to try. At least that’s what I tell myself.
“Keep an open mind, my child. This is a great opportunity for you in many ways. Not only will you prove yourself to your kingdom, but this could be your chance to live–really live. You must embrace it.”
I understand what she means immediately, because I’ve yearned for it my entire life. While I love being a princess and embrace the responsibilities that come with my role, I never asked to be one. I never wanted to be so strictly controlled, under my father’s thumb. I’ve always wanted the freedom to live a little, to venture outside the kingdom, to do risky and daring things just because I can. While I still have responsibilities, this journey to Ulleh gives me some of the adventure I’ve always sought.
“That’s definitely a silver lining,” I say, embracing one of my mother’s favorite mantras. Look for the silver lining, always.
She smiles in agreement and steps forward, her arms finding their way around me. I sink into her embrace, willing myself to feel the warmth of her arms, but it remains just out of reach. This daydream is the closest I’ll get to having my mother close again, but I’ll take it.
“Be brave, Irissa,” she whispers in my ear, and the vividness begins to fade. I know it’ll soon end. “I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you, Mother.”
The sound of racing footsteps tears me from the image, and my eyes pop open to see Lizette hurrying toward me while brandishing her torch. The panic on her face makes my heart race.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, sitting forward and staring down the hall to make sure she isn’t being followed.
She stops abruptly in front of me, breathing hard from her sprint. Her words come out in gasps. “You…scared…me.”
I cock my head to the side in confusion. “What? How?”
She takes a deep, slow breath and lets it out, fanning her face with her free hand. “One second I was telling Sir Jaymes a joke I learned from one of the castle cooks, and when I looked back, you were on the ground.”
“I’m fine, Liz.” I giggle and wave my open palms over my body. “See? I just sat down to get more comfortable.”
After a few more deep breaths, she seems to have calmed down, but her cheeks are still pink. “That’s a relief. I thought you’d fainted. I was going to have to fetch Darsan to carry you to the infirmary.”
I know she means well, but I narrow my eyes at her anyway. “Very funny. After our conversation earlier, he’d probably just leave me down here.”
Lizette offers me a hand, which I take, and she hauls me to my feet. I swat at the skirt of my dress to knock the dust off, taking extra time to give Liz more of a breather before I gesture down the hall.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” she asks, looking skeptically at my mother’s tomb. “I can give you more time. I just had to make sure you were okay.”
I nod, following her gaze to the casket and soaking in the image one final time, memorizing as much of it as I can.
“It’s fine,” I assure her and nod toward the exit. “I said everything I had to say.”
With an understanding nod, Lizette takes the lead, strolling casually back in the direction we came from. I run my hand over the full length of my mother’s casket a final time and bend to place my lips against the wax seal coating briefly. It’s a strange sensation, but something in my soul tells me it’s an appropriate farewell.
“Goodbye, Mother,” I tell her, and turn to follow Liz out of the tombs.
CHAPTERSIX
Irissa
“This dress weighs fifty pounds,” I huff between heavy breaths as I position myself in front of the gold-framed mirror. Lizette hurries to fluff the skirt, making it lay just right, and I turn from side to side, admiring my reflection and watching the white material glitter in the light.
“It’s breathtaking, though,” she assures me, and I have to agree. It’s beautiful.
How the royal seamstresses managed to pull this dress together in just over a week is beyond me. It must have taken the castle’s entire fabric supply to make it happen. The heart-shaped bodice hugs my curves flawlessly, and sheer floral sleeves give it an ethereal feel. The skirt is made of countless layers of tulle and lace, falling into a short train behind me, the back completely open to my waistline. It’s romantic, and despite the elaborate gowns I’ve owned over the years, I’ve never felt so much like a princess.
Dragging my gaze up from the dress, I study my face again in the mirror. My silver hair is braided and knotted at the nape of my neck, held in place by a dozen pins, and a silver tiara sits on my head. My makeup is done thanks to Lizette, dark liner accenting my eyes and crimson staining my lips. It’s eerie how much I look like my mother, and I wish she were here to see it.
I’ve always imagined myself getting married in a ballgown, walking down the Great Hall with an impossibly long train and an even longer veil, but this dress is hardly that. It’ll still turn heads in Ulleh, and it’ll make for a much easier carriage ride without yards and yards of fabric to suffocate us, but it’s soft. Romantic.
“Are you ready?” Lizette asks, her face appearing over my shoulder in the mirror.
