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TWENTY-FOUR
Decima
I unlatchedthe door to the storage room in the barn where we’d set Carter up with his usual restraints and efforts toward making him comfortable. I didn’t know if he’d be any more receptive to my overtures this time than before, but with our final attempt to take down the Blood Hunter on the horizon, I couldn’t resist the urge to give him one more chance. Especially when his skills could get us closer to our goal.
Maybe if he contributed, if he played a role in taking down a real monster directly, he’d understand how much better it was than the sick, convoluted ceremonies our family had carried out. But I couldn’t force him to comply. He could just as easily screw us over.
I needed to see if I could trust him enough to give him this small but important responsibility.
My brother was lying on his sleeping bag when I came in, the food I’d brought earlier eaten and his water bottle half empty. He wasn’t sleeping, though. At the squeak of the hinges, he pushed himself upright. We’d taken off his gag again as soon as we’d gotten here, since the vacant farm was too far from any other habitation for calls for help to reach anyone’s ears, but I doubted he was happy about the handcuffs or the tie around his ankles.
“What do you want now?” he muttered, sounding exhausted.
My heart wrenched despite myself. For all the horrible things he’d been party to, he wasn’t much more than a kid himself, only a few months into adulthood at eighteen. I didn’tlikethat I’d had to treat him this way, but trying to justify it again seemed pointless. My reasons didn’t matter to him.
I sat down on the hard, straw-scattered ground across from him, just out of reach if he made a move to attack. “You said before that you might be able to help us with our missions. It turns out we have a plan where your forgery skill could come in handy. It might allow us to take down the Blood Hunter for good.”
Carter’s eyes narrowed at me. “If I do you a favor, are you going to let me go?”
I sucked my lower lip under my teeth and just barely managed not to worry at it. I had to be honest with him.
“No. Not just like that. But it’d be a step in the right direction. I still need to be sure that you’re not going to turn on us, and what we’re about to do is too important to leave any loose ends. Once the Blood Hunter is gone, we’ll at least be able to figure out where to go from here without being constantly on the run. We can bring you someplace where you’ll be more comfortable—we’ll have more time to talk.”
“Great. So I’ll be a more comfortable prisoner. I’m not seeing why I should bother.”
I inhaled slowly to settle my temper, which started to flare at his stubbornness. “Your entire life has been about stopping crime and injustice, and the Blood Hunter is the root of a hell of a lot of both of those things. He sells people like they’re animals, he slaughters his own employees on a whim, he manipulates the people who should be serving our country into doing his bidding, and that’s only the start of it. If we stop him, his crimes and all the harm he’s doing will end with him. Shouldn’t you want that?”
He shrugged. “All I’ve got is your word that he’s doing those things. Why should I believe you when you lied about so much else?”
I couldn’t hold back a snort. “Ilied? The only thing I lied about was what job I currently do. With everything else, I just left out the details that I knew our family wouldn’t accept. You and the rest of the family hid at least as much from me as I did from you. If you can understand whyyoudidn’t spill the beans to me upfront, you should be able to understand my perspective.”
“That still doesn’t mean I should side with you.”
“Well, then, how about this? You’re still here, still alive. Because I don’t kill people I don’t think deserve it. I know you didn’t come up with the idea to hurt those kids on your own, and you didn’t attack me the same way Iris and Ruby did. Both they and the Blood Hunter have treated so many innocent kids so horribly. So from where I’m standing, I don’t see how I could look like the worse choice here. And I’m giving you the chance to be part of exactly what you always thought you were doing.”
Carter simply hung his head without a response. Had I actuallylostground with him? What would it take for him to accept what I was offering? I didn’t see how I could lay this situation out in any clearer terms. For all practical purposes…
I paused over that thought. Giving him all the logical reasons why he should support my cause hadn’t gotten us anywhere in all this time. But he’d asked me for something else before. He’d asked why I cared. At the time I’d dismissed the question because I hadn’t seen how it mattered—but maybe it did, more than anything else.
What the Maliks had been doing hadn’t been based on any concrete evidence, after all. It’d been all aboutfeelingthey were making a difference.
I scooted forward a few inches, watching his face until he lifted his head just enough to meet my gaze.
“You asked me before why I care,” I said, “and I told you this situation wasn’t about that. But it is. I’m sure we could find another forgery expert if we wanted to. I didn’t need to spare your life. I did because I care aboutyou, about keeping some part of my family if I possibly can.”
“Youkilledthe rest of our family,” Carter spat out.
I swallowed thickly. “I did. But…”
The words stuck in my throat. Did I really want to open up to him this much—to admit how hard it’d been? How much I’d cared aboutallof this?
How could I expect him to trust me if I didn’t?
“I hated having to do that,” I went on. “You have no idea how much I wanted to be part of a happy family, to belong and be accepted. I never had that in my entire life. I had trainers, but otherwise I was basically alone. I was willing to suppress so much of who I am to try to fit in with all of you. I’d have given just about anything to shake Mom and Dad and everyone else out of their delusion. But not only were they tormenting and murdering children, they made it clear that they wouldn’t let me live my life unless I was willing to join them. That was a price I wasn’t willing to pay. Because Idon’twant to cause unnecessary pain.”
“Then why don’t you kill me too?”
“You’re the only family I have left. And even if I hate what you were a part of, I can’t help holding on to that bond when I think there’s still a chance we could berealfamily, the kind of family that supports and relies on each other. No matter what you’ve done, you’re my brother.”
