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Confused, I cocked my head. “Where are you going?”
Maddox paused but didn’t look back. “Just head back up to my uncle’s roadside shack and ask him for a ride home. I’m going to speak to Hel.”
I recoiled. Before I could gather my thoughts and put them into words, Maddox disappeared into the woods. He couldn’t shake me here. I was a practiced hiker. This was my favorite terrain. I dove in after him.
Maddox
We were the same,Fenrir and I. I’d been running from it for a while. In the back of my mind, there’d been a seed of doubt that I’d kept safe from the truth all around me. But it was true. There was no difference between us.
I wanted to howl to the skies. This wasn’t fair. Nothing had ever been fair. Life handed me a shit hand of cards, over and over again. I wasn’t sure why I was even playing the game anymore. I should have quit a long time ago.
Hel had given me a way out of this game. That way, everyone would be safe. I wouldn’t have to worry about Addie or what I would do to her with these hungry hands. I wouldn’t hurt her in the throes of my hunger if I was trapped away before I ever became a monster like Fenrir.
“Get your ass back here!” Addie stormed through the woods.
When I glanced back, Addie leapt over a fallen log and marched up to me with determination darkening her pale eyes.
“I told you to leave.” I couldn’t let her stay.
I told myself that I didn’t want her to have to deal with Hel, but the truth was that I didn’t want Addie to see what kind of monster I’d become. My hunger already gnawed at me. If I didn’t get more to eat soon, the ravenous beast would consume me. The wolf in me snarled and kept the hunger at bay, but it would overtake my beast sooner or later.
Addie didn’t need to be around me when that happened. It was the last thing I wanted. If she saw the kind of monster I would become, I would lose all respect in her eyes. I wanted to leave her with a good memory of me.
Couldn’t she let me have that, at the very least?
“You don’t get to tell me anything.” Addie stepped up to me and raised her chin so she could look me in the eye.
The firm set of her jaw matched the steel determination in her eyes. This woman was so soft on the outside. When she spoke, she barely ever raised her voice. She cared for everything, right down to the smallest life. Beneath that gentle layer was a core made of steel that remained absolutely unwavering.
And I wanted nothing more than to let her have her way. I would have plucked the sun and moon from the skies for her if she asked. Right now, I couldn’t give her what she wanted, though. If I did, then I would hurt her.
I ran my knuckle along her cheek. She shuddered under my touch. Her eyelids fluttered, and a soft sigh escaped her. Though she bit her lip when she locked eyes with me again, that determination still graced her face.
“Why are you running?” Her voice was gentle.
“I think you know.”
She had to know by now. These hands weren’t meant for loving embraces. This mouth would never kiss softly. I was a monster lying in wait. It was only a matter of time before the hunger consumed everything that made me good.
Addie wanted to argue more. I could see it on her face. She put her hands on her hips and leaned in right as a spark reached her eyes. If she said anything kind, I wouldn’t be able to stay. I had to leave before she used her enchanting ways against me.
Addie was smarter than me. I twisted to run, but a chain of tiny bones wound around my feet and ankles, binding me to the ground. Addie would have succeeded if she’d taken my shifter abilities into consideration. The chain of bones was bolstered with her arcana, but she wasn’t fast enough to hold me when I let my beast take my body.
My wolf paws slipped out of the confines of her chain. She groaned as I bounded away. I knew why she didn’t try harder. Addie could have held me. The undead part of me answered to her the same way my beast answered to my Pack Alpha now. Addie could have commanded me to stop, and I would have had to obey.
But she let me run.
My lungs burned and the pads of my paws stung with every step. The two sensations should have calmed the frantic energy crackling in my chest, but the run did nothing to ease this worry. It didn’t help that my hunger only grew more intense. I gnashed my teeth against the urge to bite down onto anything.
I didn’t want to leave Addie to do this all on her own, but I wasn’t sure I could help against Fenrir. Though we were the same, he was ancient compared to me. I’d been a shifter for all of a month. Fenrir had centuries under his belt. He could level entire mountains. He made a fae queen tremble in fear.
To fight him, I would have to become a kind of monster unlike any other. When I decided to devour the world, who would chain me then? Would Addie have to be the one to wrap me in bindings? Would she be able to command me at that point? Or would I step beyond her control?
So long as she held my soul, then maybe she would be able to puppet me like some sort of magical doll. That was the only hope I had left. Knowing that my soul was in truly good hands kept my worry from overwhelming me.
I slowed and paused deep in the woods. The air smelled wild. Here, I could catch the scent of several small animals living in the mossy crags of the earth. The area was filled with life…and I wanted it all for myself.
“Fucking hell, man.” Addie shoved through the brush and bent double, hands on her knees, to catch her breath.
