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ChapterOne

TATI

I understoodthe difference between being scared and being pussy.

I had a good grasp on the concept even before my daddy had said those words to me, at a solid eleven years old.

Maybe twelve.

It was blazing hot under the sun, and we’d probably be more comfortableanywhereelse, but we were up on the roof atBottoms Upbecause that’s where it was safe for me.We wereavoiding my mother’s rage over me getting suspended from middle school for fighting.

I didn’t start it, though.

I just finished it.

Mia Minelli was a bully, and I had to make her understand, the rest of the sixth grade might fear her, but Tatiana Tate didnot.

I wasn’t raised to be scared ofno fucking body.

Now she knew.

And still, I had to get “talked to”.

That’s how my mother had phrased it.“Talk to this damn girl,’cause she not hearing me.”

She was right.

I wasn’t.

I couldn’t understand whysheof all people, was so mad about me fighting.Carmen Tatewas not to be fucked with around here, and everybody knew it. She had a reputation for throwing hands, so… it was kind of an inherited quality.

So how was I wrong?

But then, my Daddy explained it—the fight wasn’t the problem, the aftermath was. The attention, the labels, all that. And so, that day, he bestowed upon me the gift of being afraid. Not of people, necessarily, but of… the reverberations.

Every decision we made, every impulse we acted on, every word from our mouths—they all had influence in some way, major to minor.

They hadpower.

As heir-apparent to the second-most powerful role in thePredatorsclub, I, even at eleven years old…had to be mindful of the way I wielded mine.

I had to be reasonably “scared” of what I could do.

Of what could be done to me.

Of what could be done to my familybecauseof me.

And a whole lot of nuances all in-between.

So… that was the mantra.

Thatwas the prayer.

I accept the wisdom of being afraid, but please grant me the strength to never be pussy.

Around here?

Anything else could easily turn into a death sentence.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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