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“Okay.” She nodded. “So… come to the bathroom. I want to look at your bandages. Doc asked me to keep an eye on you.”
“I’m pretty sure I can take care of myself,” I called after her. She was already off the bed, heading for the door.
“Says the man who went to sleep with those bandages wet. Bring your ass to the bathroom,” she demanded, naked, wearing an expression that really invited no nonsense, so…
“Whatever,” I grumbled, like I wasn’tverywilling to have a fine ass, nude woman tending to me.
I couldn’t let her think it wastooeasy.
“So…” she started, once she’d gotten yesterday’s still damp bandages off, and done a little examination of my external wounds. “You wanna talk about what happened a few minutes ago?”
“Not particularly.”
A soft sigh pushed from her throat as she taped fresh gauze around the small wound on my torso. “I’m sorry. Again.”
“You’re good. It’s fine.”
“It’s really not though,” she insisted, nudging me to turn around so she could tend to the exit wound. “I understand that you’re not angry with me, but… it’s not okay. Knowing what you’ve been through.”
“You don’t know what I’ve been through.”
“I know enough,” she argued, peeking around my body to meet my gaze. “We… have some uncomfortable…traumas,in common. At different degrees, different circumstances, but in common still. I was so wrapped up in using you for my own rehabilitation that I wasn’t thinking aboutyour…triggers. And that’s not cool. So I’m sorry.”
I nodded. “I appreciate that, but seriously… I’m good.”
Done with the bandages, she stepped in front of me, eyebrow raised. “So you’re cool with me treating you like an emotionless piece of meat?”
“It’s how I prefer being used to be honest,” I teased her, wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her into me. “All jokes aside, chill. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t comfortable.”
Which was exactly the fucking problem.
I was entirelytoocomfortable.
And here she was apologizing to preservemyfeelings, as ifIwasn’t the one keeping secrets. If anybody had reasons to be repentant…
“I’ve got something I’ve gotta do,” I told her, breaking the connection I didn’t deserve, to put some space between us.
Her eyes went wide. “That sounds pretty ominous…”
“Nah, it’s nothing likethat,” I assured. “I just… I have a routine I’m trying to stick to.”
“Oh. Do you need anything?” she asked, pushing her braids back from her face.
“Just space. You mind if I use your courtyard?”
She grinned. “Sure. Have at it.”
She slipped out of the bathroom, leaving me to take the heavy breath I desperately needed. I wasn’t fronting about the routine; it had been doing a masterful job of keeping me in a good place mentally.
Today, it was definitely needed.
She was in her closet when I left the bathroom, so I was able to grab my boxers and some other paraphernalia to head to my destination—the courtyard in the middle of her house. It was one of the things I’d liked most about her new place, outdoor space with no way to access it from the exterior of the house.
A perfect place to blaze up and meditate.
Tati kept a little basket of throw blankets right next to the door, so I took one with me to spread out on the grass. The sun was finally making a real impact on the sky as I took my seat.
With my eyes closed and a few puffs down, I let myself sink into my thoughts.
