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“Be careful today, okay?”
“I’m always careful.”
She sucked her teeth. “I mean…for realthough. Blue just told me what y’all are getting into, and you need to understand, even without whatever influence this foreign motherfucker has, Manuel is... petty, vindictive, and very smart.On his own.He needs to be handled delicately.” She stopped, pushing out a sigh. “I know me being out of commission...that kind of threw a wrench in things.”
I cocked an eyebrow at her. “Out of commission? That’s how you’re phrasing it?”
“How else should I?” She shrugged. “I haven’t been available, that’s a fact.”
“Well yeah, but it’s not like...”
“What are you even saying?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted, tossing up my hands. “I just don’t like you framing it like you blame yourself for the shit or something.”
“I’m not blamingmyselffor anything other than not taking it as seriously as I should’ve when everybody was trying to tell me that nigga was bad news. I should have been—Iamsmarter than that. What he did is what he did, but I let my guard down with somebody who didn’t deserve that kind of courtesy from me. It won’t happen again.”
I scoffed. “That’s just how niggas like that operate; they make themselves seem like somebody you can trust, when they’re not.”
Huh.
I had a lot of damn nerve, stating the obvious when it came to Kev, but not myself.
As if my presence here had ever been altruistic.
“You didn’t do anything wrong by thinking you could trust him,” I told her, pushing away my guilt for another time.
“I know that,” she huffed.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” she told me. “I’mverysure.”
“Good.Staysure,” I countered, honestly not evensuremyself as to why I was pressing this so hard. I just hated the idea of her feeling like there was something she could have – should have – done differently.
Was it important for her to be mindful of her surroundings and all of that?
Of course.
Especially when niggas like Kev existed.
And honestly, niggas like whatIused to be too.
It wasn’t pretty, but it was true that people would make calculations, mental and otherwise, on which targets to prey on. However, no amount of imprudence would make you a victim if there wasn’t a perpetrator around.
It wasn’t onherto do this or that, to “protect” herself from becoming a victim.
It was onhimto not fucking victimize.
She wasn’t trying to hear a lecture though, and I wasn’t trying to give one, so I didn’t. I finished getting dressed, kissed her, and headed out to get ready for this meeting.
If any sort of luck was on my side, I’d see her tonight.
