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“I’m not saying I don’t get it,” I told her, “But it doesn’t make me any less mad about the shit. But we don’t know what she told Manuel to make him walk in on y’all bumping coochies that night, and if Manuel knew, we don’t know what he passed along to Renard. The whole situation is a mess, yes, and some shit we should not have to deal with. But honestly… you fucking around with her was some bullshit in the first place. Fucking around in married people shit was begging for exactly what happened.”
“Are youvictim blamingme?!” she shrieked and I shrugged.
“If you want to frame it that way, I’ll eat that. Maybe it’s problematic,” I conceded. “But you can’t be getting yourself involved in messy ass situations, and then get shocked when you get pulled into a mess. I’mnotsaying it makes it right for him to have put his hands on you, butwere yousupposed to be inhisgoddamn house?”
She pushed out a sigh and took another long swig from the bottle. “You’re not wrong, but I still don’t like it.”
“No one would expect you to—I’m just saying. If the last few months have taught me nothing else, it’s that anybody can be victim and villain at the same damn time.”
Maite put the bottle down, looking at me with curiosity brimming in her eyes. “That sounds intense,” she said and I raised an eyebrow.
I chuckled. “That’s an understatement if I ever heard one. Like I said, everything is a mess right now, so however lowkey you can be? I truly suggest you stay that way.”
“Do you think things will mellow out?”
“I don’t even know anymore,” I answered honestly. “This is uncharted territory, for all of us. And it’s all so fucked right now that I don’t know if ‘normalcy’ is even a possibility anymore. I guess we’re going to see how it all washes out.”
“Okay… I think you’re done,” Maite said, taking my half empty overpour from my hands.
“What?” I whined.
“You sound defeated and I am not a fan,” she answered. “That’s never been your energy before, and I don’t like that you’re starting now. What in the world is going on? Why are you out here drinking at six in the morning?”
I shook my head. “Just being alone with my thoughts. Is this what you came looking for me for? To check on me?”
“You killed my girlfriend, girl. I ain’t that worried about you,” she said.
I couldn’t do anything but nod. “I get that. I still love you though,” I told her and she rolled her eyes.
“Ditto. I guess. I’m cool on you for a little bit though.”
“I get that too. Just don’t get pussy whipped by anybody else’s wife before we’re back on good terms, okay?” I asked and she chuckled.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m cool onthatfor a while too.”
“Why aren’t you in the chain of command meeting?” she asked, standing to leave. “Or is thatnotwhat the closed blinds and security at the conference room door means?”
I shrugged. “Like I said—just trying to be alone with my thoughts.”
She peered at me for a moment, then shook her head. “All right well… when you’re ready to discuss what that bullshit actually means, you can come find me.”
“Appreciate it, babe.”
A moment later, she was gone, and I rolled my eyes when I realized she’d taken my glassandthe bottle with her.
Probably the right move, but still.
Right now I only had a slight buzz going and I preferred to be a little more numb to help me deal with the complicated emotions currently swirling through my brain.
I was not a jealous bitch.
I wasnota jealous bitch.
And yet… watching Onyx interact with Margeaux via the security cameras atClub Allurehad been a mind fuck of the worst kind.
He was so damn comfortable with her.
This woman they’d painted as damn near a monster. He was talking to her, interacting with her,touching herlike it was nothing.
