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Especially thewhat if someone took you and Tali away from me.
Triggers I never considered.
Because I never reallyhadto, because I’d been so sheltered.
Unlike Onyx.
All this shit was trauma after trauma that he’d been managing his entire life.
But it was all relatively new to me.
With the exception of the new information I’d learned about my parents; all this mess was over for me in no time, a few weeks of confusion and that was it. It wasn’t like something I had to live with in and out, from day to day.
He couldn’t say the same.
So again,grace.
That was another thing my mother talked to me about – warning me of what I was potentially getting into with someone with that background. I understood her concern, but… it was kinda too late to back away from it allnow.
I kept reminding myself of that, kept trying not to overthink it. But I couldn’t lie, halfway through the memorial activities, when I felt the shift in the air, and then found his face in the crowd, it was relieving.
I was glad he made it.
When I met his gaze though, all I got was a nod.
No warmth.
I put my whole entire life on the line for this nigga and all I get is a chin raise?
I could not—would not—front.
That stung.
But… okay.
If that was how it was… I guess that was just how it was.
So much for not backing away.
When he approached me later to pull me aside during a quiet moment to talk, I gave him the same lackluster energy I was feeling from him. His eyebrows lifted at my dry response to his request to speak privately, letting me know he definitely felt it. But he didn’t say anything else until we were tucked behind the door of the room he’d claimed months ago.
I wasn’t about to invite him intomyspace.
“I wanted to check on you,” he started, meeting my gaze. “You good?”
I shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be? I’m upright, I’m here with my family. Is that all you needed from me?”
He didn’t answer for a moment, just staring before he blew out a sigh. “You’re pissed at me?”
“You think?” I answered, pushing past him to get to the door.
To my annoyance—and relief—he grabbed my arm, turning me around to face him.
“Listen, I understand you’re pissed, and I understandwhy,” he said. “But I needyouto understand, nothing I felt about you has changed.”
“Then where the hell have you been?” I demanded, blinking back the sudden urge for tears.
I didn’t need the emotional bitch shit.
