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“What?”
“Not talking to you about it. He insisted that he didn’t want to “burden” you with it, but… I didn’t think you would see it like that.”
“I wouldn’t have.”
She smirked, picking up her glass to raise in my direction. “See? If they would just believe we know what we’re talking abouteverytime instead of just sometimes.”
“I’ll drink to that,” I chuckled, tapping my glass to hers before my gaze fell on the guys again. “I… get why he didn’t, though. This freedom, this knowledge, all of it. It’s all still pretty new.”
Tamra nodded. “Yeah. And it’s hard to process. Like, I went through the whole ordeal of hunting down my people, you know? And I found them. But… what I found wasn’t a fucking fairytale, you know? So as much as you’re gaining something from knowing, you might also end up happening upon a loss. And that shit is like a punch to the gut. But I know I’m preaching to the choir here…”
Yeah.
She was.
I understoodexactlywhat she meant, about the simultaneous increase and loss.
Being in the Garden came with an understanding that you’d lost something—you just didn’t know what. It stayed at the fringes of your mind and you left it there, because it hurt too much to explore.
But then… by some stroke of luck—named Alicia—we were able to reclaim what was taken from us. The thing with that was… depending on your situation, you may have been better off not knowing.
Yes, I’d gained a sister, and her family, and our father’s fortune. But that increase came knowing that my father was gone, and that his death had been arranged by my mother’s hand.
It came with knowing that I was only in the Garden in the first place because my own mother had made it so, andkeptme there. Every abuse, every indignity I suffered… it was because I didn’t matter to her.
Andthat?
That fucking stung.
So… yeah.
I got it.
But there was never a time when I wished Ididn’tknow the truth.
“Good thing we can choose our families, huh?” I said, and Tamra smiled at me before she nodded.
“Yeah. It really is.” She took a sip from her drink, saying nothing for a long moment, and then, “I’m happy I didn’t kill Wilder when I had the chance.”
I bursted out laughing at that, so loud that it drew the guys’ attention. From Isaiah’s smile, I could tell he was glad to see Tamra and I getting along, since that was kinda the whole point of this.
I broke away from his gaze to look at her. “Yeah, that would’ve made it pretty hard to be together.”
“Right?” she giggled. “I guess it’s a good thing neither of us holds grudges either—cause we were definitely kicking each other's asses.”
My eyes went wide. “So… that whole thing about him chasing you… you guys were full blownfighting, huh?”
“Ohyeah,” she confirmed. “I maintain that he only caught me because… well, I guess that doesn’t matter, so let me stop before I get mad thinking about it,” she laughed. “But yeah. And now… he’s my favorite sparring partner. The sex after is amazing.”
“Love that for you,” I laughed, raising my glass to her again.
She tapped hers to it, then emptied her drink down her throat. “You know… I used to tease the life out of Zay about you,” she said, making my eyebrows shoot up.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. When he and I met, he’d been off your guard duty for a year or so, but… you were the first personal thing he ever told me about. Hell – theonlypersonal thing, because… what else would there have been? I was actually kinda jealous of you,” she admitted. “Not like, because I wanted Zay – he was always fine, but alsoeww.Anyway, it was more like… I never had anysecurity,I didn’t get personal attention from any Thorns, you know?”
I smirked. “Yeah, I get it, but… you also got to be strong, you know? You got to be fierce, andfeared, and kick people’s asses. WhileI…”
