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Samantha
I held my breath ashe took a sleeping Bow upstairs. She’d fallen asleep way before the movie was over. Something was way off, and my stomach was in knots waiting to find out what was wrong. I know I was sick and he had to miss work to take care of me and Bow, but I had no idea what could have happened to make him put this wall between us.
I could feel the shift the second I walked into the bathroom to see him and Bow. I’d wanted to thank him for doing everything he’d done while I was sick, and when I heard Bow’s words about her mother, some more pieces fell into place about why he was so against any kind of relationship. Maybe he still loved her?
The thought made my stomach tighten even further. The impending sense of doom settled around me. When he came back downstairs, and I saw the look on his face, I knew what was coming. It didn’t make hearing the words coming from his mouth hurt any less though.
“Samantha.” he sat back on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees and his head hung like he didn’t know how to say what he was about to say.
“Just say it,” I replied, holding back the emotions that were threatening to break free.
“I’m sorry. I just can’t do this. It’s not fair to you or to Bow. I never should have placed that ad. I’m sorry, Samantha. Truly I am, but this isn’t going to work.”
“Why? What changed?” I’ve never felt the kind of pain I was feeling sitting there and watching him put walls around himself—pushing me away.
“It’s not important, Samantha. I just can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t.” His voice was laced with agony and regret.
I could feel my heart breaking in my chest, but I didn’t know what to say. We’d agreed to give it a month to see if it worked for us and if it didn’t, we would walk away. I’d agreed to it, and he figured out that this wasn’t what he wanted. No matter how much my heart ached, I had to walk away and not make it harder on him or Bow than it had to be.
“I’ll leave first thing.”
“I think it’s for the best. I hope you find someone better, Samantha. You deserve better than that asshole, and you deserve better than what I can give you.”
I swallowed hard and nodded, but I couldn’t speak. “Good night, Dax.” I left him downstairs and headed back to the room I’d been staying in for the last few weeks. It was the room we’d had sex in—where he’d shown me something I never knew about myself. I wasn’t stiff and cold in bed like Josh made me believe. With the right person, I could be passionate and melt. Josh was never the right one for me. If I learned nothing else from being here with Dax, I learned that.
As much as I wanted to say goodbye to Bow, I knew I couldn’t. It was hard enough facing Dax as he ended things between us. I couldn’t face either of them again and not break down.
I grabbed my luggage from the closet and started throwing my things inside. I didn’t bother folding my clothes, I just shoved it all in, desperate to get out of the house as quickly as possible. When I walked out of the room carrying my bags, Dax was coming up the stairs. Something flashed in his eyes as he paused to look at me.
“You don’t have to leave tonight, Samantha.”
“It’s for the best, right?” I gave a small smile. “I’ll check into a hotel for the night and figure something out tomorrow.”
He sighed and ran his fingers through his thick, dirty blond hair, the strands poking up in different directions. “What’s one more night here, Sam.”
“I have to go tonight. I can’t say goodbye to Bow, not in person at least. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to call her tomorrow sometime.”
“Of course.” He reached out and took my bags from my hands, leaving me with just my purse and laptop bag hanging over my shoulder.
I gritted my teeth and forced myself not to feel—not to cry as he loaded my bags into the back of my car. I turned around to look back at the beautiful lighthouse that was my home for the last few weeks.
“You know, I never saw the light on or went up into the tower.” I gave it a wistful look, imagining what it would look like from the top and with the light on.
“I only turn the light on in storms. It’s not a necessary lighthouse anymore. They have one a few miles up the coast that’s functioning. This one has been abandoned for years.”
“You have a beautiful home, Dax. Your daughter is lucky to have you, and whatever happened, you should know that you deserve love and trust. I don’t know what happened, but I do know that.”
“Thank you.” I nodded and got in my car. The ignition fired up and took me away from the life I wanted, the life I wished I could have.
***
“Hey Mom.” I laid inbed, holding onto a pillow and hugging it to my chest. It was the first time I’d called her since I ran out of the wedding.
“Samantha. Where are you? We’ve been going crazy looking for you.”
“I’m safe, Mom. I’m not ready to go back to the city, but I wanted you to know I’m safe and you can stop having people look for me.”
“Samantha.” I heard my dad’s booming voice sound in the background. He sounded furious. “You need to come home so we can fix this mess.”
I wiped at the tears that rolled down my cheeks. “I’m not coming back to DC. I’m going to arrange to have my townhouse sold and my stuff sent to me wherever I land, but it won’t be back in DC and it definitely won’t be back with Josh.”
“You’re being unreasonable, Sam,” My mom said softly, “You need to come home and make things right.”
“He was sleeping with my best friend and God only knows who else for the last two years of our relationship. I don’t have anything to make right with him. I never should have been with him in the first place, much less agreed to marry him.”
“Do you know how embarrassing it was for us to have you run out on your own wedding?”
I sighed at my mom’s question. “That’s part of the problem, Mom. You care more about what it looked like for you and Dad than what it felt like for me to find my fiancé face down in my best friend’s lap.” I paused and let out a sigh. “I’ll call you again if and when I’m ready.”
I hung up the phone and let loose the torrent of tears I’d been holding in. There was one more commitment I had to keep before I could leave Sunset Falls, Georgia. I needed to make sure Davis passed his final exam in communications. Once that was done, I could retreat to lick my wounds.
