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Sixteen
Forthefirsttimein my life, I did something I wanted to do without overthinking it, and it was amazing. Sex with August was life-changing. While it may have been my first and only time, it was reckless, thrilling, and intoxicating, and I am so thoroughly screwed.
August reluctantly pulls out, and my body immediately feels the loss, and by the look in his eyes, I think he feels it too until he looks down. Why did he have to look down? His eyes snap up to mine in utter horror.
"Gianna, what the hell? Did I hurt you? Why didn't you tell me to stop?" I quickly reach for the blanket hung over the side of the couch and pull it around me as I scramble for my clothes in hopes that he doesn't see my cheeks heat with embarrassment.
Clearly, I didn't think this through otherwise, I would have considered the fact that I might bleed.Shit
He pulls on his pants while I try to make quick work of heading towards the bathroom to clean up. Before I can get past him, he grabs me around the waist and says, "Talk to me, baby." I pull my bottom lip into my mouth and close my eyes to avoid his penetrating gaze. He is always so perceptive. Where are those skills now?
Bang! Bang! Bang! Rings out through the condo, and he barks, "Hold on fuckers!" Then someone shouts, "Tell Carson to go fix her lipstick in the other room and let us in." August pinches the bridge of his nose in irritation, and I take off toward the back of the condo in hopes of finding a bathroom.
"Gigi wait," he calls after me. When I go to close the bathroom door, he stops it with his foot.
"They can stand out there all night for all I care. You're important to me and—" I cut him off before he can finish.
"It's okay. Go let your friends in. I'll be out in a minute." Briefly, he searches my eyes for reassurance that my words are true, and I give him my best fake smile. A smile that any one of my friends would see straight through. He seems to buy it, and I close the door.
Once the door is closed, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before seeing my reflection in the mirror. The girl that just had sex with August felt like a powerful woman, she felt like a queen being worshiped by her king, but the girl in the mirror is a slut.
This is not me. I would never sleep with someone I've only known for a few weeks, and I can't even say I really know him. We haven't even talked about anything of importance. I don't know what college he went to, what he likes to do for fun, his favorite food or music. All I know is who he is to me, the CEO’s son, future owner, and the man with the ability to fuck up all my goals.
Believe it or not, I’m very good at recognizing things that are bad for me, and August is one of those things. The problem is this one bad thing deep down inside feels so right even though I know it shouldn’t. I know girls like me don’t land guys like him. Tonight, however, I choose myself, the guy I want, and the girl I want to be, but the sobering reality is that I don’t have the luxury to be this reckless, and now I need to navigate a way forward before I lose everything.
The sounds of voices entering the apartment bring me out of my borderline panic attack. I look down to see how much damage there is, and it's not as bad as I expected. I assumed there would be a lot of blood, like a period, but it's more like the evidence of his ejaculation is coming out streaked with red.
Now that I think about it, he asked if he could come inside me and when I gave him the green light, he came almost immediately. That explains why he looked down when he pulled out. The possessive freak wanted to leave his mark and see the evidence leak out of me. My insides clench just thinking about what we just did. It was so good, and I am so thoroughly screwed.
I make quick work of getting dressed minus my underwear since those were ripped from my body. Doing my best I try to look normal instead of like someone who just lost their virginity. Taking a moment, I give myself a pep talk, "only you can give people the power to make you feel small." These guys might have money and status, but that doesn't make them better than me. I put my lady balls on and exit the bathroom.
As I walk down the hallway towards the kitchen, a tall attractive blonde catches sight of me out of the corner of his eye, then he whistles.
"Damn, August, you didn't mention Carson brought friends."
My heart sinks once more at the mention of her name. They were high school sweethearts, they have history, and I can't compete with that. His words from earlier about their relationship should comfort me. However, I learned a long time ago actions truly speak louder than words. He can say it sucked all he wants but the truth is he stayed with her for years.
"Fuck you, Ethan! You know Carson and I aren't together anymore." August yells.
Nearing the kitchen, I hear another voice chime in. "I think Carson believes you're still on a break, man."
Finally, rounding the corner into the kitchen, I get a look at the other man, and fuck me if he doesn't look just like Jake from Twilight. I stare at him for a minute too long, and he notices.
"Something catch your eye, princess?"
I’ll play his game, knowing I need to come off completely unaffected even though I want to crawl into a hole in die.
"No, Twilight, I was team Edward. We're good."
The blonde guy spits out his beer in laughter as I make my way toward the living room to collect my purse and find my phone. I don't want to stay here a minute longer.
I don't regret a minute of what I did with August. It was perfect, but that moment has passed. We haven't talked about there being an “us,” and I'm not naive enough to expect there to be an us just because we had sex.
Quickly I share my location with Mason and ask if he can pick me up.
"Okay, she's a keeper, but since you already have a girlfriend, I'll be happy to take her off your hands Auggie baby," says the blonde playboy.
He is exceptionally handsome. Most women probably swoon over him, but I see straight through his type. The man is interested in one thing, sex. My eyes snap up to August as he rounds the island in one swoop and pins him up against the wall.
