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I haven't spoken to Mason since Monday when he found me with August. What if I never get to tell him how sorry I am? He's my best friend, and I hurt him in the worst way, and now I may not get the chance to make amends. I hadn't called because I was giving him space, and honestly, I needed the space as well. We needed to talk about what happened with August and what almost happened between us on the bluff.
Before it happened, I hadn't put much thought into losing my virginity but looking back, I know I always hoped I could give it to Mason. I'm not sure if he's still a virgin. I know he has messed around with girls. We were never an official couple, but there was always this undeniable attraction between us. Different from what I have with August but still potent. I always found Mason handsome, and once I got to know him, I was hooked. He was the perfect guy to laugh with, talk on the phone for hours with, and dream with.
Mason's parents divorced when he was ten because his dad was a workaholic, and his mom had needs. Basically, she wasn't getting enough dick at home, so she started stepping out on his dad. His mom prioritized dating, which left Mason home alone a lot. He was never bitter per se, but we would talk about the future and all the things we would do differently than our parents.
Mason was adamant that he never wanted his children to go through the loneliness that he had. Yes, children plural, he was always resolute that he would have multiple kids. He hated being the only child. While I wasn't an only child, I could relate to feeling alone. What was the point of talking to parents who were cracked out of their minds? When my parents weren't completely blown, they would feed me bullshit lies to make up for their poor parenting while they were doing drugs.
When we were young, we would talk about running away together and starting over, doing things our way. We both had it all figured out. As we got older, we realized we had to have solid goals and not childish dreams.
Before his dad's IT company took off, he wanted to be a coach. He played soccer his whole life and loved it. Loved the discipline, loved the friendships, and loved the game. It fulfilled him. However, when the company took off, I think Mason started seeing his dad differently.
He was no longer a workaholic, absent father. Instead, he was a man on a mission dedicated to his dreams. His father had a vision and worked hard to make it a reality, and I think a part of Mason admired that. The other part is more of an assumption on my part, but I think he believes working there with his dad will bring them closer.
Finally,Iarriveatthe hospital and try to pull myself together before going in. I need to be strong for Mason and his family. I don't know what I'll do if I lose him.
Once inside, I find Vivian, and she explains that Mason was in a bad car accident last night around midnight. He was driving home from a friend's house when the breaks stopped working. His car ran off the road and straight into the river. Luckily, someone behind him saw the entire accident occur and called 911 immediately. He's been in surgery since he got in last night, so she doesn't have any more updates.
I clutch my stomach and feel like I'm going to be sick. Vivi pulls me over to a chair and lets me cry into her shoulder until I can't cry anymore.
Hours later, the doctor tells us that he's stable, but he's not out of the woods. He had a collapsed lung, five broken ribs, and internal bleeding. The reason surgery took so long was due to the internal bleeding around his collapsed lung that they couldn't stop. He has swelling on the brain, which they said is typical for the injuries he sustained to his upper body when the airbag hit, plus he was underwater for at least two minutes when the car finally sank.
While I sit and listen to the doctor's account of his injuries, I need to excuse myself to the restroom. When I reach the bathroom, I take the first stall and fall to my knees, heaving my guts up until there is nothing left. I feel like this is all my fault. If I had told August to go fuck himself Monday night, I wouldn't have given him what belonged to Mason. Mason would have been with me instead of sinking to the bottom of a river. I fall to the floor, a sobbing mess.
As I make my way back out to the waiting room, Mason's mom pulls me into a hug.
"Gigi, sweetheart, they're allowing Johnathan and I to go back, but I told them you would be joining us. Mason would want you there."
I hug her tightly before nodding and following her back, praying that her words are true. The way things were left between Mason, and I would suggest differently.
When we get to his room, he's hooked up to tons of machines. The doctor explains that the breathing tube will be removed in the morning once they're confident his lung is strong enough. He's also in an induced coma to help his body and brain heal. Depending on how the next 24hrs go, they will reevaluate waking him up.
As I take in his bruised body before me, I'm overwhelmed with emotions. He looks so peaceful yet so broken. Mason had a smile that would brighten the rainiest of days, and a way of making light in the darkest of times. I wish he was awake now so that he could do just that.
He's always been there for me through thick and thin, and I'm not leaving his side until he wakes. I'm going to be here for him for as long as he needs me because I know that no matter how much hurt I've put him through, he would do the same for me.
Myarmhasfallenasleep, my backaches, and my head is pounding. Someone is tapping my shoulder.
"Miss, Miss, we need you to wake up."
I snap my eyes open and realize I'm slumped over in a chair, leaning against the hospital bed, holding Mason's hand. Quickly I straighten and immediately regret my haste. Everything hurts. I groan in agony.
"Sorry, Miss, but we need to have access to this side of the bed to do our charts. His parents said you have permission to be here no matter what. But maybe you want to grab a coffee and freshen up? He won't wake while you're gone. We can promise you that."
I look over to Mason's face and notice some of his color has returned. I nod my head to acknowledge her words and head towards the door.
Somehow, I manage to make my way down to the cafeteria, placing one foot in front of the other, completely numb. I order a large coffee before pulling my phone out of my purse to check the time. That's when I realize it's dead. Oh shit, it's been dead since yesterday when Vivian called. Crap, I didn't call into work. I need to call my mom and "August." I say his name aloud with a mix of sadness and angst.
He's probably so pissed. Before I can finish the thought, big arms wrap around me, and the scent of leather and cedar invades my senses, instantly quieting all the noise. I immediately start crying again for all new reasons. He holds me until the sobs that have immobilized my body subside. Then he pulls back to look at me.
"Baby, do you know how fucking out of my mind with worry I've been?" I nod in understanding as he guides us over to a table, where he takes a seat and pulls me onto his lap.
"When I didn't cross paths with you at work, I assumed it was just a coincidence, and when you didn't return my texts throughout the day, I figured your phone must have died, but once the night hit and your phone never came on—" He puts his head into my neck and inhales deeply before saying, "I didn't sleep at all last night. I went into the office, found your mom, and asked her where you were. I'm sorry, but—"
I cut him off. "My mom knows I'm here?" He gives me a perplexed look. "Yes, why wouldn't she know you're here?" I shake my head. Of course, she knows I'm here. Vivian or Chloe, Mason's mom, must have let her know.
"I'm sorry, August. I got the news when I was driving in yesterday, and my phone immediately died. I came straight to the hospital, and I've been beside myself."
My voice cracks, and I close my eyes to focus on breathing so that I don't cry again.
