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"It's raining," he says.
"Very perceptive."
"What's wrong? Is this all because I said stupid things last night? Or because I kissed you? Can we forget what happened and rewind?"
"To before we kissed? So it never happened?"
Dylan's eyes glint as he reaches his hand to touch my mouth with cool fingers. "No. To the point we got home."
I shiver at the suggestion beneath his meaning, but pull myself into the now. "Why?"
The rain falls, hard drops seemingly from nowhere; they're so sudden. "I thought summer crushes lasted more than one evening?" he asks.
"You do more than one night stands then?"
He drops his hand. "Sky, what the fuck is going on? How many times do I have to say sorry? Seriously, if you don’t want me to touch you again, I won’t. But let me back in."
"Back in where?"
"Your life. Here. This."
I wipe the rain from my forehead. "This? What is this? You're not in my life because this isn't my life—or yours."
"Right here and right now this is our life, and I'm pissed off if I fucked that up last night. I guess I need to find a new way of relating to women."
"Apart from seeing them all as a potential fuck you mean?"
Dylan pushes his hand through his wet hair, as the rain grows steadier around us. "What is your obsession with fucking?"
"You're the one with the obsession! One kiss and you presume I’d say yes to sex with you?"
"Wow. Just wow. I don't know what's going on here but...wow."
"It doesn't matter. I'm just glad I didn't," I retort.
"So am I." His words sting. Yeah, I get that. I'm not exactly his usual type. "Not for the reason you're thinking. I told you that last night; it’s because I think sex would spoil this."
We watch each other warily and I don't know what to say or do. He confuses me; the whole situation is surreal. I can't get my head around what he wants—or whatIwant. One minute I'm staring at his killer body wanting him all over me, and the next I'm telling him to leave me alone.
Why did he have to kiss me and drag us up to this level?
I came to Broadbeach because I was hurting more than I can ever remember before, my heart smashed into tiny pieces and thrown into a new world where I’m alone. I let Dylan sneak behind the barrier I built at that moment, stupidly believing this could be simple and fun. Suddenly, this hot as hell guy wanted my company—he made me laugh and I felt worth something again when I saw his affection.
But he dragged me away from my illusion by pulling everything back down to reality.When I fuck a girl, I don't want anything to do with her afterwards.They’re the words that created this attitude to Dylan today. A guy like him fucks girls and disposes of them. I refuse to be disposable again.
I turn back to the waves tumbling in, willing him to walk away. The white surf rolls over but never quite reaches my toes. Shells have washed in with last night's tide and are dotted around, stuck in the sand as the sea retreated. Ignoring Dylan, I walk along the shore towards the shells and dig them from the sand. Something about the possibility of finding a perfect shell draws me to them every time. A large patterned tip protrudes from the sand and I wander over. Bending down, I dig around with my fingers and pull out a huge purple and white spiral shell. Twisting the shell in my hands, I check the intactness. Perfect.
"Sky! Waves!"
I have my back to the ocean and a wave crashes against my legs, destabilising me. I regain my footing and attempt to move before the retreating water sucks my feet into the sand. At that moment, a larger wave wipes me completely, dragging my body underwater. I panic at the confusion of being pushed and pulled out of my control, seawater swirling hair into my face and the bubbles rushing into my ears. The shell remains tightly gripped in my hand.
As water draws away, I push my head free. Dylan stands on the edge of the shore, water lapping his ankles, laughing. I spit out seawater and stagger to my feet. The weight of the damp hoodie threatens to pull me down again as I push hair from my eyes.
"That was fucking funny! You should see your face!" He wades towards me, arm outstretched to help.
I glower at him and stand without his help and swat at him. "Don’t laugh at me!" Dylan catches my arm and pulls me towards him.
Scrutinizing my face briefly, Dylan takes my cheeks in his broad palms and crushes his lips against mine. I gasp again, but it's not the sea snatching my breath this time. A new wave sways us, and Dylan holds my face tightly, his own footing steady, as his mouth claims mine. A small voice in my head asks what the hell I’m doing, but I ignore it.
