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21
CERYS
Liam choosescoffee because he’s driving, so I leave my glass of wine and pull out two mugs. As I’m making the drinks, he asks if I want him to put Ella into bed because she’s asleep on the floor. How is Liam like this? How can a man who lives a life of excess come to my small house in Cardiff and know not to leave a little girl sleeping on the floor?
As he takes Ella upstairs, I place Liam’s coffee on the table and curl up on the brown armchair with my mug. Gift wrap and trampled-in food surround us, balloons from the walls now on the floor. Liam returns and sits. He picks up a balloon and twists it around in his hands.
“A bit different to my usual parties,” he says.
“Yes, I bet you have women lying around on the floor and not balloons at the end of yours.”
He smirks. “In the old days; we’re not that bad anymore.”
“Sure, you’re not.” I return his smile.
“Believe it or not, that shit gets boring after a while.”
“Is that why Blue Phoenix split?”
“We haven’t,” he says tersely. “We needed a break after the months of crap.”
I sip my coffee. “So what are you doing on your break? When you’re not running from weddings.”
“Why are you angry with me?” he asks.
“I’m not angry with you. Why would I be?”
“Cold, then.”
“Do you want me to be honest with you?”
Liam pushes a strand of hair from his face that’s strayed from his ponytail so I can see his concerned eyes more clearly. “Yes.”
“How could I believe Christmas meant something? You told me your engagement was off and two weeks after Christmas, you were back with Honey behaving as if nothing happened.”As if I never happened.
“You walked away,” he says quietly. “I didn’t think there was a chance for us. Yeah, maybe I did the wrong thing going back to Honey, but I thought she’d fill the hole you left.”
“Wow, don’t I feel special,” I mutter.
“You left and I never heard from you until the letter,” he presses.
“I don’t have your phone number.”
“I was surprised when Lou told me you’d returned to Cardiff with your ex.” Liam pauses then adds quietly. “I heard he’s out of the picture now.”
“Craig is Ella’s dad; he’ll always be in the picture. We split less than a month after Christmas and this time he was reasonable and we stayed here. This is his place really. I think the reason his family lets us stay is because he’s worried I’ll move away with Ella and he won’t see her. To me, staying in this place is temporary because I need to stand on my own two feet.”
Liam shakes his head. “This is standing on your own two feet, Cerys. You’re looking after a five year old on your own and doing awesomely.”
“No, I want a job so I can take care of Ella. I’ll start looking once she begins full-time school in September. If I can figure out a way, I want to train to be a nurse. Maybe not now but—”
“A nurse?” interrupts Liam. “Tough job, Cerys.”
“I’d planned to before...” I bite back the words. “I paused my life, and now I’m pressing play.”
“You’re amazing,” whispers Liam. “Your strength blew me away when I met you. The fact you let me in just for those few days made me feel special, too.”
I close my eyes. “Don’t, Liam. Please.”
