AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I have to tell you this—just listen to me and then I’ll go.” His tone is stronger than I’ve heard from him before and quiets me. He rubs a palm across his temples. “I thought what happened was me reconnecting with the past we shared because I was pissed off with my present. But that isn’t why. I came home for Christmas, but only when I kissed you, did I feel I’d really come home.”
His words push through my barrier against him and I fight to fix the hole before he finds his way inside. “And then you left.”
“Youleft.”
“No, when the girl died.”
“Oh. But I went back to Mum and Dad’s and you weren’t there.”
“I realised I was living in a fantasy world and retuned to my reality, Liam. So did you. After Christmas, we would’ve gone our separate ways, even if I hadn’t returned to Craig.”
Liam leans forward, elbows on his knees. “I would’ve taken you with me or made things right for you.”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous.”
“It’s true. I planned to help you. I wanted to stay in your life, get to know you better. You accused me of playing games. You talk about reality. I wasn’t playing a game and what happened was real. The beginning of something that could be special, Cerys.”
I grip the coffee cup. “No.”
“No to what?”
“If that were true, you wouldn’t stay away this long. You’d try to contact me. Louise has my number.”
“Yeah, right, I’d phone you when you’re trying to patch things up with your boyfriend of six years.”
He’s right. I stand. “But you still went back to Honey. Please, Liam, stop this. I don’t want to think about Christmas again.”
Shaking his head, Liam presses on. “As soon as I got Ella’s picture everything changed. Then I discovered you’re on your own again and the thought of marrying another woman disappeared. I wanted you.”
I look down at the sincerity in this man’s eyes, head spinning. “Simple as that?” I say hoarsely.
“No, look at what I did. I’m an asshole and a coward. I fucked up with the wedding. But I waited afterwards—I didn’t run straight back here, in case I’d used you as an excuse to get out of marrying Honey.”
I make a sound of disgust and stand. “Thanks.”
Liam stands too. “But that’s the point. A month later and I’m here. I can’t stop thinking about Christmas. About you.”
“So you thought you’d land on my doorstep out of the blue and what? Hope I let you into my life? What if I say no? Will you go back to Honey again? I think you’re confused and don’t knowwhatyou want.”
Liam sighs. “We should talk about Honey because she’s in the room with us, isn’t she? I want you to hear everything about Honey and me, even stuff other people don’t know. I need you to understand why I chose to do what I did, and why I will never, ever go back to her.”
The vehemence of his tone surprises me. Has he spoken to anyone about this because it sounds like he has a lot bottled inside? “You don’t need to explain to me.”
“I do.” He continues. “I didn’t intend to get married that quickly after we patched things up. I told Honey we’d see how things go then suddenly she’s set a date and everything is just careening out of control. There was other shit going on in the band, and we were touring. My head was fucked and I just went with the flow and didn’t think.”
“You don’t get married because you go with the flow. You must’ve loved her!”
Liam shakes his head. “I don’t know if I did. I wanted to love her, but I think I’d been in love with the idea of her. When we first got together, she was sweet and caring—vulnerable. I wanted to take care of her. I know what everyone says about Honey, but she isn’t a stupid airhead. A girl who reinvents herself, moves to LA, and finds her way into the acting and music world is determined and smart. But emotionally, Honey is a wreck. She’s insecure and so am I—we helped each other.”
“She cheated on you!” I blurt.
“Yeah, I know. That’s the point I realised she had zero self-esteem and her behaviour was more than insecurity. Any time I spent away from Honey, she’d freak out and accuse me of being unfaithful. She claims she started the affair with Mason because I was neglecting her on the tour and that I didn’t love her. Maybe Honey’s half-right. Everything became too hard with her possessiveness getting out of control. I could barely leave the house without accusations and arguments.”
“I couldn’t do that,” I whisper. “If someone cheated on me, I could never, ever go back to them.
“I know. Huge mistake. I never forgave her; I just fell back into the cycle. I’m a coward and a fucking idiot.” He rubs his eyes. “Can I talk about us now?”
I blink at his question and dismissal of the events that just screwed up his life. “Us? Liam...”
