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36
BRYN
She can't do this.
Hannah can't contact me and throw everything into chaos again.
Emails begin to arrive from her in October. Several emails, increasingly urgent in tone, asking me to contact her. They've arrived in my personal email account too, not the one we shared for secrecy that I no longer look at.
Hannah is revealing herself to the world, almost a year too late. Has Hannah seen my happiness in photos and decided she lost something good?
Avery's in Wales, visiting family for a couple of days during the half-term school holidays and I stare at the screen, anger and confusion vying for space in my head when I see yet another email from Hannah. I don't want Hannah. Avery has filled the space in my life she left, the one she filled with false hope for too many years. My relationship with Avery is deeper than I imagined. We’re in tune and in love and there’s no doubt in my mind who I should be with.
But some things are hard to shake, despite the last few months of denying Hannah access to my mind.
I click open the last message.
Bryn,
I'm in Wales. I need to see you. It's important.
Hannah
My stomach lurches. What's so important that Hannah needs to bombard me with messages and not get the hint I have nothing to say? Fleetingly, the idea she might’ve had my baby crosses my mind. No. Five months is the longest between our meetings, I would’ve noticed. We didn't have sex the last time I met her so the idea is impossible.
What then? Another attempt to mess with my head because she's confused? Split with her boyfriend and running to me?
Well, I'm not here for her. Not anymore.
But as the day passes, my need to know increases. I fight against returning Hannah’s message. Opening that was allowing a gap for her to creep through and I should never have bloody done it.
But not once has Hannah been so insistent; if anything, she was always reticent.
Once.
I can contact her once, satisfy my curiosity, and be firm with her that she has to stop this. I call the number Hannah messaged me.
“Bryn!” My name rushes out with relief.
“What do you want, Hannah? You need to leave me alone.” I focus on my hostility in case she thinks she’s won.
“I have to see you.”
“Why?”
Her voice shakes. “I can't tell you over the phone. Can we meet?”
“No.”Too far.This is one phone call, then over.
“Bryn! Please, I wouldn't ask but I need this.”
“What? Money?”
“No!” Her voice cracks, thick with the tears pushing at my wall against her. “Just once, please. If you don't want to see me again after, that's fine.”
“I'm with somebody else now.”
