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“She lied. For years. Why would she do that?”
“I don’t know.”
Bryn stares past me, retreating into his place of safety. I want to be his safe place, his harbour from the storm dragging him under, but am I enough? I rest my head against Bryn’s chest, listening to his heart thumping against my cheek.
“If you’re leaving tomorrow, let’s switch the world off and be us,” I say.
Stroking my hair, he looks back at me, his panic retreating. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.”
Bryn picks me up, the way he effortlessly does, my legs around his waist and arms around his neck, cheek resting against his. When he holds me like this, I feel safe in his strength, held and loved. Our faces can be close enough to kiss, our heights levelled and there’s an intimacy in the action that will always remind me of the first time in the hotel in Rouen.
“Let’s get lost in us,” I murmur against his cheek.
We’ll never be truly lost while we can always find each other.
Later, as I lie in Bryn's arms, I bury my face in his chest, enjoying the comfort of the embrace he’s denied me recently and listen to his breathing gradually slow. After tonight, what happens? Is this the last time he holds me?
“I will come back,” he whispers into my hair.
“I hope so.”
Bryn shifts to look at me, tipping my chin. “This doesn't change anything between us.”
I wish this were true, but Bryn knows he's fooling himself as much as I am.
This changes everything.
