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“You’ve never seen me dance, you have no idea what you’re asking me not to do,” she countered.
“Yes I have,” he challenged, the private show she’d given him had him falling over the edge to what little control he had left when she was around.
“No, you haven’t,” she stated, her tone harsh. “What I did for you, was for a man I’m falling in love with, what I do on stage isn’t the same. Even private dances, there is no touching and the last thing I want are their hands on me.”
“But they do?” he snapped.
“And they pay for it.”
Anger didn’t eek up his spine or bubble in his chest it exploded at the idea she had no issue being bought and sold.
“How much?” he growled, low in his throat.
“Again, you haven’t seen me work and don’t know what you’re pissed about. The dance I gave to you wasn’t for a customer,” she said as her hands smoothed over his chest. “It was for a man I thought might one day be mine.”
“Damn it Turbo. No!” He fumed, storming around the trailer before opening the door in an attempt to get fresh air. Anything to save him from the sense of loss when he was just beginning to find a moment of clarity. When he could see the future bright on the horizon and the idea he’d now fallen for a woman like Sassy. One who would do anything for money, security or a good time. Bracing on the small bit of railing on the porch of the trailer he did his best to not scream. “I don’t want you to strip in front of all those men.”
Porsche moved around him, tears welling up in her eyes as she walked backward toward her car. “You can’t demand that of me. Life isn’t free, I need to work. And I found a job I enjoy. One you’re judging from a distance based on what you believe it is, not what it is.”
“I’m not leaving my daughter to go watch a stripper lie to herself about enjoying her job. You’re like the discount store worker, he countered. Not because he didn’t believe a woman could want to be a stripper, but because he needed her to not want to be one. To see he could take care of her and that he saw the woman behind the mask. The one who tended wounds, both physical and mental, who he needed to have care for him.
“Yes, I do.” Porsche opened the door to her car, her arms resting on the frame and he could see in her eyes she wanted his blessing for her to go into work.
But his want was for more from a woman who couldn’t give it to him. She told Cream he was her priority. Fielding questions and doing video chats with club members while she stayed in California with him, but only when he was tied up doing things. He had been the most important thing in the world and it made him drunk with self-belief. The world was quaking beneath him as she stood firm, giving him so much he couldn’t help but want more.
“Porsche if you leave don’t come back.” Mike yelled out from the childish part of him he had lost full control of. The last time he’d been this immature a Drill Sargent was ordering it out of him with continued rounds of up downs. Had he really fallen so far back into his childish ways?
Probably, because Turbo had made him believe in Santa, his elves and the damn Easter Bunny again. For the first time in decades he had a want beyond basic needs. It was twenty feet away standing staring at him.
“Since you think I can be bought and paid for, talk to Hack and get my fee schedule before you talk to me again.”
The anger Mike had at her was nothing compared to the rage he had at himself. They hadn’t reached a point in this for him to demand anything because he hadn’t stepped up and declared the feelings he could no longer deny when it came to her. Selfishness he’d lied not only to her, but himself when it came to his feelings as if the admission somehow weakened him in the eyes of those around him.
The worst of it came from the fact he couldn’t believe he made her cry, real tears, the type that would and should have sent his ass packing. More importantly the type he had to remedy. He couldn’t just walk to Hack’s or drive into town to watch Turbo dance. Honestly he wasn’t in the mindset to do anything but beat the ass of the man who stepped to Turbo in the place and he didn’t have that right. Not from the club and more importantly, not from her.
