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“She’s struggling. Today she ended it with me.”
“I’m sorry,” he said gruffly.
“Don’t be.” I shook my head. “It’s not over. She’s going to pull it together, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“What do you need from me?”
Exhaling roughly, I admitted, “I’m not sure. All I know is she doesn’t want to be around me, and I don’t want her to be alone.”
“Willa had an issue for a while that prevented her committing to me,” he began carefully. “Without betraying Willa’s privacy, Minty let me know something was wrong and put me in the right place at the right time to be there for Willa.”
“I need to make sure I’m in the right place at the right time, but more importantly than that, I need to make sure her girls are in the right place at the right time.”
“I’ll make sure her girls check in.” His lips tipped up. “And I’m reasonably certain both Willa and Junie owe you one.”
I laughed. “They were just looking out for her, which is exactly what I need them to do right now.”
Back at home, I grabbed a beer and headed to the couch with my laptop. The house was too quiet. Exactly as it used to be before Minty came into my life. For a brief flicker in time, I imagined losing Minty and having my life return to this empty stillness. I recoiled at the thought.
It simply wasn’t an option.
Flipping open my laptop, I settled back and pulled up my search engine. I could kick myself for not doing it sooner.
OCD. Subtypes.
After an hour, I’d had enough. I wondered at the strength she possessed to keep eating, keep drinking, keep hugging people, letting them in, touching lives, touching souls, and showing up day after fucking day with that monkey on her back.
“Okay.” I exhaled hard and rubbed a hand roughly over my hair. “Right now, she can’t cope. She’ll learn. I’ll learn too. I’ll be the best damn support person the world has ever known.”
Minty
Ruby called first thing the next morning. “Yiayia made you soup. I’m coming up. You want to open up or do you want me to use my key?”
“Uh…”
“Alright. I’ll use my key.” She hung up.
I looked around my messy home. It had gotten progressively worse the more time I’d spent at Lucky’s. Maybe she wouldn’t notice. With little energy left to care, I opened the door when she knocked.
Her eyes widened when she saw me. “Whoa!” She gave her head a gentle shake. “I brought you soup and cookies.”
“What kind of soup? I’m sorry but I can’t handle anything with meat right now.”
“Avgolemono. No chicken. Veggie broth. Amber watched and made sure.” Her mouth twisted to the side. “On the downside, now Yiayia knows you don’t like meat and she’s worried for your ‘hormonies’.”
“Hormonies?” I questioned.
“Yeah. Hormones with a hint of Greek drama.” Prodding me toward the couch, Ruby sat down with me and passed me a cookie. “What’s going on. You’re not sick.”
I nibbled the edges where the dough was just a little browner that the rest. My favorite part. “Remember I told you about OCD and how I control it by controlling my environment?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“Lucky and Brayleigh blasted my control to dust.”
“Ah, yes. Kids do that. So do men, actually. But! A wise woman once claimed she wasn’t prepared to row her own hoe. Wait. Hoe her own row?” She waved a hand. “Never mind. Another wise woman said we had mountains to climb.” She stopped and peered at me before carefully suggesting, “Maybe, this one, is yours.”
How many times had I used a mountain analogy when faced with a symptom I needed to conquer? Each toehold represented a step, with the peak signifying the ultimate goal. I’d made such a list with Lucky. I tried.
