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It was one thing to climb a mountain on your own. It was quite another to strap a defenseless child on your back and force the risk on them as well.
The hopelessness of the situation flooded my eyes. “I can’t. I just can’t.”
“You’re so tired, Minty,” she murmured.
I nodded, utterly wrung out.
“Did you sleep last night?”
“A little.” A tear rolled down my face. “I don’t like sleeping alone anymore.”
“Come lie down. I’ll stay with you for a little while. Just go to sleep and I’ll use my key to lock up.”
I allowed her to lead me to my bedroom which was in worse shape than the front room. “I see you’ve been redecorating.”
I huffed out a dry laugh.
“No, no. It’s a good plan. Get everything out of the closets to see what you’ve got. I’ve seen this method on tv.”
I began to laugh then the laughter turned to tears.
“Okay,” Ruby said softly, taking my hand. “Come lie down. I’ll cuddle you until you fall asleep.”
Ruby curled around my back.
“Don’t let me have sex with you in my sleep,” I blurted out.
“Don’t worry. I’m all about the dick,” she assured me breezily, making me laugh again. She stroked my hair back from my temple. “I got you. Sleep.”
Hours later, I woke somewhat refreshed. The mental clarity I’d acquired cast a spotlight on my heart.
And it was broken.
I crawled out of my bed and made my way to the kitchen. Evening cast its long shadows through my windows, but there was enough light from the streetlights to allow me to sit in the semi-darkness and still be able to see.
I ate more of Yiayia’s cookies.
I ran my tongue over my fuzzy teeth. Gross. Maybe I’d brush my teeth. Maybe. I was disgusting. What did it matter if I brushed my teeth?
I picked up my cell phone to clear the messages I knew I’d find from Ruby and Amber.
I scanned the notifications, Ruby, Amber, Willa, Junie, and several from Lucky. I answered Ruby and Amber first, then checked in with Willa and Junie. And they had worried that he would be the one to pull a dick move.
My thumb hovered over Lucky’s messages. I briefly contemplated ignoring them, but what if there was something wrong with Dolly? What if he was hurt? What if something happened to someone in his family? Or Hope?
The first message was a blurry photo. I clicked to open it and figured out it was a picture of Barrett’s and Willa’s hands with their wedding rings.
This is one of the first memories I ever captured of you. I take pictures of memories, not people. And the thing I wanted to remember from that day was the woman who ensnared me by teasing me about her knot-tying skills. Look again and you’ll find yourself in the background. You’re off to the side, watching, looking utterly complete on your own but we both know you’re not. I’m here. I’m waiting. I love you.
The second picture was a bunch of masculine hands holding beer bottles, clinking their amber necks together over a barbecue. I could see Willa, Junie, Bex, Mara, and me sitting in a circle. We were leaning toward one another, laughing, hands grasping onto each other.
Before I took this picture, I’d already decided I wasn’t going to follow up on my attraction to you. I’d already decided you were too good for me, and I couldn’t offer you my usual spiel. You remember how long that decision lasted. I like this picture better. You’re surrounded by people who love you, as you always should be.
The third picture showed a nearly empty coffee cup.
This one is from the coffee shop where you lay out your parameters for our relationship. This cup signifies what I left with which was coming to be the exact opposite of what I wanted from you. I knew even then.
The fourth picture showed his extra helmet.
