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‘You can do it!’ Put Brayleigh to bed, give her a bath, change her bum.
Step by step. Bit by bit. My people standing by, my lines secure in their hands, ready to guide me to the next toehold.
Ezinne, Amber, Ruby, Willa, Junie, Mara, Bex.
Vander, Gus, and Lucky.
Even Barrett and Rhys would help if I called them.
Maybe even Hope one day.
I sighed and swung my head around to look for Lucky. He sat leaning back against his hands, his eyes smiling on me. My heart smiled back.
Alex rang the bell at the top, pumped his fist into the air, and scaled down the wall, his freckled face split wide with laughter. As soon as his feet hit the floor, Jace and George crowded around him. In the beginning, Alex was the one who was most afraid. Now he had the best time.
Vander and Gus stood together, hands on hips, grinning at their boys while Ruby bounced around taking pictures. Our little trio of wounded hearts had healed and grown.
I glanced at Amber. “We’ve come a long way.”
She looked surprised for a moment, then nodded thoughtfully. “Did I ever thank you for what you did for us?”
“I didn’t do anything. I just loved you guys.”
“Yeah.” Amber laughed. “That.”
“Thank you for the other night. Not just with the girls, but you and Gus coming over and,” I swallowed the lump in my throat, “holding me.”
“It’s just us loving you.” She teased then grew serious. “He loves you the same way you love him. It broke his heart to see you like that. Neither of us would have wanted to be anywhere else but by your side. Please don’t let it get that far again. Just call. We’ll be there.”
“Thank you.” We sat quietly for a moment, watching while Gus hooked himself to George and started gathering line.
Amber nudged me with her elbow. “Just between us girls. Vander and Gus… who was top?”
I laughed loud enough that Lucky looked over and winked.
“Truthfully, that’s one picture that has never crossed my mind.” We both looked to where Gus and Vander stood, legs braced, looking up.
“Can you imagine though?” she whispered, awestruck at the thought.
I snorted. “I try not to.”
We took the boys out for dinner to West End Diner to celebrate. The owners, who were Greek, took all three boys back into the kitchen as was their usual routine. We ate and laughed and not once did the pictures trip me up. That’s not to say they didn’t show up, they just showed up as white noise. Even when the boys hugged me goodbye, there was no shame. No guilt.
Free. I was free.
Lucky
She shot up in bed. “Lucky!’
“What? Fuck!”
She laughed and lay a cool hand on my arm. “Sorry! I just had a tremendous idea!”
I rubbed my palm over my chest. “Well don’t have any more. You’re going to give me a heart attack.”
She got up on her knees and straddled my waist. Things were beginning to look up.
“I’ve got your attention now, do I?” she teased.
