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Chapter Eleven
Charlotte was grateful for Seamus’ constant chatter. He talked about fishing, working as a messenger for the soldiers at the Fort, and about his ma, who was constantly trying to get him to wash his ears clean on Sundays before church. The constant hum of his voice drowned out the pain of her departure slightly. And it made him ignore her somewhat. He rowed, and she sat before him, her back facing the Isle of Mull, the land that had become her home for the past few months.
She could sit and think without having to have any sort of conversation with the boy. This gave her time to breathe and think about what she had just done. Tears were building in her chest, begging to be let out, but she tried to swallow them down. She had just left, abruptly, the place where she had been happiest in the world. She’d barely had enough time to say goodbye to anyone who had been kind to her. She didn’t have time to say anything to her patients. She had simply up and left, reeling from the anger and embarrassment she had experienced at Angus’ hand.
How could she have done that? How could she have been so rash and thoughtless? So many people had been a part of her time there, people who had come to mean something, and she just left them. She was following her father’s orders, and that’s what she’d told them, but in her heart, she felt like she was betraying them, leaving before she even needed to. A tear edged its way out and down her cheek, and she brushed it away, hurriedly with a piece of her cloak.
At least she would be in touch with Mrs. MacLean, and she could write to her with a proper goodbye and ask her to speak to the patients about why she needed to leave. That gave her some comfort. And she could hear about Angus, and if he fared well.
But why would she care about him? A pang of guilt flashed through her when she thought of Calum’s pleading request. Then, there was that kiss in her room just now. It had been so unexpected and so surprising, and she had felt like time had slowed when Angus had taken her by the wrist and kissed her hand so softly.
He had done exactly what she wanted him to do. They might not see each other again, or at least for a very long time, and she had wanted to feel him in her arms once more, to feel what a real kiss was like before she was resigned to the dull future that lay before her.
But, it opened something up in her, and it made her afraid. It was like the other night, but the kiss’ gentleness and purity frightened her more this time, showing Angus to be someone that she could actually care for, and she couldn’t have that. She was about to go and be badgered into thinking about marriage for her family’s benefit. She could not be weighed down with thoughts of someone else haunting her mind. And he was not someone to be trusted. He was one person one moment, and then a frustrating, commanding, stoic person the next. He had read her personal letter and violated her trust.
He had broken an unspoken bond between people. He had done something so reprehensible, and she could not forgive him. Besides, he had called her a ‘burden,’ even after they had shared their first kiss, and he had called her perfect, she was still a burden. That’s what men thought of women, wasn’t it? He was like the man on the beach, viewing women as simple tools to gain what they wanted, then dropping them whenever they pleased.
No, that was unfair. Angus was not like that man. She had seen the fury in his face when he had threatened the man with death. But still, she didn’t know what to think of him. Every time he got close, she was confused, and then they would end up arguing, and her thinking became even more blurred. Maybe he just wanted to kiss her, and that was it? Maybe he was just a womanizing Scotsman?
She had seen many of them at the Castle’s gatherings, stealing kisses from young maids in the hallways or in the shadows of the Hall. She had heard their comments as she or other women had passed by them, but she had never heard Angus say anything about anyone or seen him talking to another woman in that way. He didn’t have time. His eyes were always on her, watching her wordlessly.
She crossed her arms. Another tear threatened to squeeze out, but she swallowed hard. Well, he would have plenty of time now to carouse with women of the Isle as much as he pleased. She wouldn’t think about him any longer. It was no use. She had her new life to think about. In the background, she could hear Seamus droning on, but she was busy taking in the still scenery that lay around her.
The water was a deep, dark blue, and it looked as smooth as glass as the boat pointed its way to the far shore. Normally a mist hung low in the morning, but with the harsh rains of the last even, the morning was clear and clean. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, hoping to wash away all thoughts of Angus.
She was excited to see her father, after all. They had only each other for such a long time, and even though he did many things that bothered or restricted her, she knew that he loved her, and she loved him very much. At least for a time, she and her father could enjoy each other’s company while she decided in her heart what to do next.
It was not long before they reached the far shore, and Charlotte was met by two British soldiers on the other side. They put their hands behind their backs and bowed low. One of them stepped forward to help Charlotte out of the boat, and Seamus pulled it onto the shore. “Miss Andrews, I am Lieutenant Stevens, and this is Lieutenant Deacon.” He smiled, and Charlotte noticed his handsome face, features sharp, strong, and clean-cut under close-cropped brown hair with a black hat on top.
“Hello,” she said, trying her best to bring back the friendly, flirtatious Charlotte of yore who always knew what to say to young, handsome gentlemen. Both of them were extremely well-formed, their hard bodies evident under their uniforms, but Lieutenant Stevens was the better-looking of the two. The other was blond but younger, not yet grown into his face.
“You may call us David and Lawrence, if it so pleases you, Miss. Your father has sent us to fetch you and help you with your belongings.”
Charlotte wrapped her cloak tighter around her and smiled once more. “Thank you. ‘Tis most appreciated. I hope my things are not too heavy or burdensome for you.” She motioned to them in the boat.
David Stevens smiled, his perfect teeth set in a wide smile. “Not at all, Miss. A woman such as yourself could never be a burden.” Lawrence nodded shyly, and then the two men set to work, with Seamus, pulling in the trunk and other bags and bundles that Charlotte had with her.
Could never be a burden.The words sank into her like a stone in the Sound, and she smiled at the kindness of the words.
At least someone does not think me a burden. She thought to herself and began walking before the men as they carried her belongings towards the Fort, which stood within sight of the Sounds’ shores.
* * *
Later, Angus and Fergus were outside the castle, the sound of swords clanging in the air. Fergus was chuckling, his red curls bobbing as he did so. “What puts such force behind yer swing taeday, Angus?” He dodged a heave of Angus’ sword, which had come over the top of his head.
Angus growled and spun around, trying to unseat his opponent with a swing to the legs, but Fergus merely laughed and jumped out of the way once more. Angus set his teeth and said, “Naething, lad. I have merely too much on my mind at present, and wish tae set it free against yer body with my sword.”
Fergus returned a swing, and their two swords clanged loudly as they met in the middle. Angus pushed him to the ground. At that moment, Fergus’ near copy, Liam, rushed around to where they were and said, “Angus, are ye mad? Why did ye send the lass away?”
Angus paused and turned. His chest felt like it was about to burst, and he didn’t need anyone questioning what had happened. “Ye know naething, lad. I didnae send her away. Her father called for her.”
Liam looked confused, and Fergus watched what was going on from his seat on the ground. “But surely her father would understand that she shouldnae travel after her injury.”
“An injury that ye helped tae inflict with yer carelessness and lack of backbone.” Angus took a step towards Liam, and Fergus jumped up to stand between them. He smiled. “What in bloody Hell is going on?”
Angus pulled back. “Mistress Andrews is gone back tae the Fort tae live with her father. He has called her there. Some assistant is coming tae the Fort tae work with him, and she needs tae be present.”
Fergus nodded, digesting the information. “But, she was injured? What happened?”
