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She wanted to gag at her list of traits. How annoying and overwhelming it must have been to be in her presence. Now, it was like her whole slate had been wiped clean. Once she’d set foot in this castle, a transformation had begun to take place. She felt broken down into pieces, and now she was simply trying to put herself back together again. Some things remained, but other things were totally replaced. For one, she actually felt ashamed about her behavior and wished to make amends. She couldn’t say honestly that she’d ever felt that way before. She always trusted in her own mind and her own decisions.
For another thing, she had fallen so completely in love. She never expected she would find love. It came so slowly upon her that she didn’t realize it was happening until it did. She remembered when she’d first spotted Angus as she burst into the Castle, and his green eyes had followed her with interest. It had thrilled her at the time, so surprised was she with his beauty in so rough a place.
Now, they’d known each other for months now, but it took them being alone in this damned castle for her to realize her feelings. And now, the future that she thought she always wanted, living in a fine home and having fine things with her wealthy husband, made her feel sick.
She knew it was no longer for her, but now she would be forced into it. She sighed and slid underneath the steamy water, wishing that she could wipe her sadness away with soap. But she emerged again, an idea forming in her mind. No, she could not escape the rules of her father and Lord Darling, but perhaps she could still enjoy what time she had left. If Angus felt anything for her, then could they not enjoy what a man and woman enjoyed together? Her pulse began to quicken at the thought, and her core began to throb with desire. She bit her lip. Was she mad? She could become pregnant or find herself scandalized. But what did it matter? She would be hastily married anyway before anything came out.
Despite her fears, the desire remained. She knew nothing of what happened beyond kissing, but she definitely wanted to find out.
* * *
The next morning, as soon as Angus awoke, he called for a hot bath. He told the servant to not let Mistress Andrews in until he had finished bathing. His rules were accepted quickly, and he waited in bed until the bath was brought. A bit of cold cabbage and water was left by his bedside. He guzzled down the water and ate what he could of the cabbage, despite its slippery texture, and admitted he felt better.
Charlotte Andrews was too knowledgeable for her own good. The sleep had transformed him. He still felt a little weak from the illness and lack of sustenance, but he hoped that with a large meal and a bath, he should be strengthened enough to speak to Charlotte, and hopefully even more from there. He was amazed at his recovery. The servant helped him into the bath, but then he sent him away to guard the door and began thinking about what he was going to say to Charlotte.
He started talking to himself. “I never wanted ye tae leave…I thought only of ye for the past week…I want tae taste ye again, lass,” but he scoffed at each and every one of his ideas. “Bloody idiot!” he chastised himself. Calum was much better at smooth words than he.
Damn. He also wanted to ask Charlotte about what Calum had said to her before he left. But that could wait. He didn’t want to spoil what could be a beautiful moment. He stepped out of the bath and dried himself in front of the flames. For the first time in his life, he was afraid of what he felt for a woman. It scared him senseless. And when he thought about her, he couldn’t help but feel unworthy.
She was so strong, and he felt so weak. He remembered the first day he saw her, all fiery as she ordered him and Calum to sit so that she could heal their injuries. He had watched her in astonishment, amazed that such a tiny, beautiful Sassenach woman could yield as much power as she did.
And now, he needed to see if she felt the same way. Even if there was no chance of anything beyond today, his heart still needed to know if it was being understood by another.
Once Angus was dressed in a light linen shirt and breeches, his wet hair tied back, he went to the door to speak to the servants outside. “Ye may allow the Mistress entry whenever she is ready.”
He sat down by the hearth and drank what Mrs. MacLean had sent up for him earlier, according to Charlotte’s orders. With each sip, he felt even stronger. It was a warm, salty chicken broth with herbs, and it filled his body with strength. He was getting more and more nervous about Charlotte’s arrival.
A light knock came at the door, and his heart skipped. “Aye? Come in,” he called. He turned to see a fresh-faced Charlotte, smiling in a green, silken gown with an elaborately designed bodice.
“Good morning,” she said softly, and Angus stood, gripping the edge of the chair as he did so. He was ready to tell her but scared to all Hell at what she would say.
