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"You can stay ifyou'reafraid to sleep alone," I whisper, and right after the words escape my mouth, I already regret them.
I can't believe I said it. How could I? I don't want him to stay!
Do I?
"Oh, yeah, I'm terrified." He nods and pulls back the blanket to lie down.
"What are you doing? You can't stay in my bed!" I raise my voice, gasping for air as if somebody is choking me. "Sit on the armchair next to my console mirror!"
"Yeah, right!" He laughs at my words and takes a seat next to me. "Move a little, Sapphire, your bed is not king-size."
I know! And for the first time in my life, it feels too small.
I move as far as I can, hoping his body won't touch mine when he lies down.
My bed creaks under his weight. It's not like when we were little; it's too small for both of us now.
Of course, his body touches me. His shoulder brushes against my pajamas, and his hip is now against mine. I can't believe it. It's torture.
I turn away from him, shifting to the side to take up as little space as possible. I'm on the edge of falling down. One wrong movement, and I'd be on the floor.
"Don't be ridiculous, Kendall. You won't be able to sleep like that." A massive hand grabs my waist and pulls me back to the center of the bed, pressing my body to his.
I feel something hard resting against my ass, and I jerk in surprise, but then I realize that it's Josh's hip bone.
Even though I’m no longer in danger of falling, he still doesn't let me go. He holds me by the waist, pressing my body to his and turning to the side so he can rest his face on the back of my head.
Chapter Nine
Josh
She's trembling under my touch but doesn't tell me to go away. I want to think it's because she likes the contact, but I'm sure the reason is that she's afraid to stay alone in the dark. She always hated darkness.
I fight the urge to stick my nose into her neck to inhale her scent. I want to press my body closer to hers, but I'm afraid I'll frighten her when she realizes that I’m already half hard. I want to shove my hand under her pajama top to touch her soft skin.
There are so many things I'd kill to do with Kendall O'Connor, but I'm scared that she'll reject me as if we're teens again. That's why I stay still, letting myself only wrap my hand around her waist and inhale her unbelievable scent, which makes me go crazy.
"I'm sorry I took your diary, Sapphire," I whisper after a couple of minutes of lying in complete silence.
I know she's not sleeping. Her body is so tense under my touch that she won't be able to sleep for a long time.
"I don't want to talk about it," she says sternly, breathing heavier with each word.
"I won't tell anyone, I promise," I continue, without paying attention to her irritation.
I'm not a fifteen-year-old kid anymore to mock her that she can't find her G-spot. I'm a grown-up man who’s going to college in a couple of months.
"I know you won't," she chuckles. "Then everyone would find out that you lied about everything else."
She thinks my apology is fake. She believes that I'll keep her secret only because it's convenient for me.
I lied so much about her. I lied to the whole school about how many guys she slept with. I said there were too many to count. I said she had some kind of STD simply to make other guys stay away from her.
Oh, gosh, I really am a monster. She will probably never forgive me.
"I'm sorry for everything you've been through because of me," I whisper, and my throat goes dry with nerves.
Why am I nervous? I’m never nervous.
