Page 78 of Making Time for Us


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“What’s up, man?” He walks up and shakes my hand hard while slapping my back with his other hand. “How’s the patient today?”

I roll my eyes at him, and he chuckles. “I’m good. Still a little sore, but the bruising is mostly gone. I just need help getting this porch swing hung on the joists.” I motion to the swing laying in the garage.

“Let’s get at it, then.” He claps his hands together as we walk over to it. We each take a side and begin walking it over to the porch.

After setting it down underneath the joists, he says, “This is nice, man. Was it pre-fabricated?”

“Nah, cheaper to buy the wood and do it myself. I cut it all before the shooting and assembled it yesterday. Ellie waspissedwhen she caught me working on it.”

He nods, his face serious now. “I bet. How are you handling all that?”

This is the first time he’s asked me about the shooting since the day it happened, and even then it was mostly about the details for the report.

Forcing my mind to stay in the present and not go back there, I clear my throat. “Honestly, dude? I’ve had some bad dreams since, and the first couple of weeks Ellie was treating me like an invalid — that ticked me off — but I’m ready to move on from it all. My body’s feeling better and I’m grateful to be alive. I don’t want to live in the past anymore.”

He nods as we both kneel down to prepare our sides. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay, man. We’ve seen how that could have gone and I’m really glad it didn’t.”

I nod. “Now shut it and help me finish hanging this thing.”

“Well, it seems you two have had a very busy last two months.” Our therapist Katherine sympathetically laughs with a clipboard and pen on her lap across from us.

“Yes, thank you for rescheduling our follow-up,” Ellie says.

“Of course.” Katherine waves her off and smiles before she turns her attention to me. “Ellie caught me up on what’s been happening since our first meeting together.”

I accidentally choke on my spit when I think about all the kinky and hot sex we’ve had since that appointment and hope she’s notallcaught up. As I catch my breath, Ellie grabs my hand and squeezes. “I shared about the shooting andsomeof the things we’ve incorporated into our marriage.”

Both women laugh when I exhale a little too loudly. It’s still so weird to me that they’re being so open about this intimate part of our lives. But I’m glad Ellie feels safe with her.

“Yeah, lots of unexpected things have happened,” I say.

“So, tell me, what have you each learned through the exercises and in walking through your scary incident?”

I stare blankly at Katherine and then shift my pleading eyes to Ellie.

“I’ll go first then.” Ellie giggles softly and turns to Katherine. “Well, I guess the biggest thing for me is that I can be a great mother and a devoted wife at the same time. There were so many years that it just didn’t seem possible. Now that the kids are older and need me less, and we have this extra time together, I feel like I can finally breathe enough to do both. Going forward, I always want to make it a priority to do both.” She pauses like she has something more to say but is looking for the right words, so Katherine and I wait. “And I’ve also realized that it’s okay that I think about a steamy night planned with my husband while I do my chores or even hang out with my kids.” Her cheeks flush and my heart melts. “I realized it doesn’t make melessof a dedicated mother, but simply is a part of me as a whole. That was a hard one to accept, but I want the kids to see what true and passionate love looks like, and that means setting the example ourselves. And I am really happy and I know that spills over to them as well.” She turns to me and gifts me with the most beautiful smile, her dimples that I love on full display before she turns back to Katherine. “Another lesson I’ve learned is that I can ask for what I need or even take it, and I won’t be judged. I knew Marco and I would always be together— ” She threads her fingers through mine as she keeps talking, causing my heart to skip a beat, “—but it feels like we’re stronger now. Communicating basic needs are hard for exhausted parents, but then when you add sexual and emotional needs on top of that, it gets even harder.” She holds my eyes while she says, “I’m just really grateful we’ve been able to communicate those needs with each other. Thank you for that, Marco.”

“Always, babe.” I lift her hand to my lips and place a gentle kiss.

When we look back at Katherine, her warm smile is ear to ear. “And you Marco, what lessons have you taken from this time together and recent events?”

“Well…” I clear my throat. “I guess the biggest one has been not to take anything for granted. I honestly never realized that we weren’t prioritizing each other, but now that I see it, I don’t ever want to go back to the way it was before.” I swallow a lump in my throat before I continue. “All I could think about when I got shot was leaving my family behind. In the weeks since, I’ve realized how important it is to never let time go by without prioritizing what I value most in my life — that’s Ellie and my kids.” I feel the squeeze my fingers while I talk to Katherine. “I know our marriage has always been strong, but I don’t ever want her to feel like it isn’t my top priority ever again, because it is. Same with the kids. I want them to feel the love I have for them every day of their lives. My family is the most important thing to me and I’m proud of the life we’ve built. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure my family feels that, and that’s what I leave behind when it is my time.”

There’s a comfortable silence in the room as our admissions float around us.

Katherine is the first to speak. “I am so happy for you both. It sounds like you took the time to understand what you want and need, and then learn your partner's wants and needs too. You put yourselves out there to reignite the passion in your marriage and did the work so you could grow together.” She sets down the notepad in her lap before she continues. “It truly is rare to meet a couple so dedicated to each other’s happiness.”

Ellie and I both nod before Ellie says, “Thank you for creating a safe space for us to start.”

Katherine’s smile is genuine before she says to us both, “It’s been my pleasure. Please know I’ll always be here to help in any way that I can. in the future.”

Walking out of Katherine’s office, I can’t help but feel lighter. These last couple of months have been one for the books.

“I’m going to go get the kids and I’ll see you at home,” Ellie says in the parking lot before she gets to her van.

I open the door for her, but stop her from getting in. I lean down to take her lips and she melts into me. “I have a surprise for you at home.”

“Oh yeah? Is it that you folded the clothes in the dryer?” My stomach bottoms out as she stares at me seriously. After laughing at my panicked expression, she places her hands on my chest and says, “I’m kidding, love.”

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