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The furniture hasn’t been updated in twenty years, but her home is clean and welcoming and always smells of her baked goods.
“They are wonderful. Kids are all enjoying school and making new friends. Sixteen years ago today Ellie and I went on our first date. That feels like a lifetime ago.”
“Oh, that’s so lovely, dear. Are you taking her out to dinner when you get home?”
“Unfortunately, I have weapons qualification at the shooting range tonight, but we went to lunch at our favorite cafe this afternoon. It was great to spend time with her.”
“Time together is very important, especially after kids. I remember when Fred and I were young parents, how hard it was to be connected. Children need so much of your time, love, and attention that it’s often hard to even remember that you’re a spouse, too. At the end of the day, there’s little left for the marriage.” She stares at me with sincere eyes. “You have to make the time and energy for each other, because one day when your kids are gone and your house is quiet, you still want to be madly in love.” She hands me a brownie slice equivalent to half the pan. “That’s good you and Ellie make time for each other.”
Her words ring true, it is difficult to keep the love alive. I'm just glad we've managed it through it all.
Chapter 3
Drifting Back
Ellie
IleaveSeasideCafeand head to the kids’ school for pickup. I miss my kiddos so much every day that by two o’clock I’m ready to snuggle them close. I’m early, so I park in the pickup line and open my book reader app — I started a new romance recently that seems promising.
After reading a while, I hear the dismissal bell, and shortly after, all four of my kids come barreling out of the front door on a mission. The girls are skipping while holding hands and the boys are bent over in laughter, probably about a fart. They all run to the van and pile in.
They all start to talk on top of each other and the noise immediately bombards my ears and brain.
Trying to remain calm and patient, because I know they’re excited to tell me about their days, I raise my volume a little to get their attention. “Hi, kiddos! Get buckled up, little ones. I missed you guys so much today!”
They buckle themselves as the cacophony gets louder. Head spinning, I pull out my favoritetake your turntactic.
“Okay, okay, guys. My ears can only hear one of you at a time and I really want to hear how everyone’s day was. We’ll go from youngest to oldest so everyone can share.”
My sweet Olivia clips her last buckle as she lets out a small “Yes!”She’s the quietest in this passionate brood, so I use a variety of methods to mix it up so she gets the space she needs too. Olivia is confident but screams over no one to be heard.
“Momma, today my friend Juliet and I played with the jump ropes at recess, and we had so much fun!” She beams.
“That’s so cool, baby girl. Maybe we can get some jump-ropes for home and you can show me how to do it.”
“Oh yeah, that would be fun! I can show you!”
“I’d love that.” I smile at her in the rear-view mirror, and she smiles back.
“My turn!” Liliana, her twin and my most expressive kiddo, shouts. “Today we got to play music during PE, and we had a dance party!”
My oldest girl by eight minutes, she’s always leaning into the spotlight. A born performer since birth, when she unexpectedly swapped positions and made her way out of the womb first as Baby B. She loves to sing and dance like no one is watching — I envy that about her.
“We danced to like a million songs!” she adds.
“It wasn’t a million, Liliana.” Camden, my youngest son, rebukes.
Forever the middle child, I have to remember that he’s stuck in this weird place in our family where he can’t do as much as his older brother, but he doesn’t get fawned on by the outside world like his adorable little sisters.
“Liliana, that’s so exciting that you got to move your body so much today! Sounds like fun. And Camden, remember, we each live our own experience and if it felt like a million to Liliana, that’s ok.” He sits back a little dejected, never wanting to hear any type of correction but I smile at him in the mirror and say, “I’d like to hear about your day now if you have anything you want to share.”
He sits quietly for a few moments until my oldest Jonathan nudges him and whispers something that makes his face light up. “Oh yeah! Johnny and I found this awesome little lizard on the playground at lunch today! He was green and really fast. I tried to catch him, but I couldn’t! I chased him and chased him but I could never get him.” His words spill out and I laugh at the scene he is describing.
I love this kid’s enthusiasm for life.He’s big, almost the size of his bigger brother, and his personality is larger than life too. He has always marched to the beat of his own drum, and I love that for him.
Johnathan says, “Mom, I found this really cool book at the library today. It was about animals and which are the biggest and fastest and smallest and slowest, things like that. Did you know that the smallest frog in the world is called aPaedophryne Amauensisand it’s smaller than a thumbnail?!”
“Wow, that’s really cool, kid. Your brain is like a vault of knowledge. It's so amazing how much you love to learn!”
