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“Well thank God for that,” she said, grinning up at me. “We have to go.”
“I know.” I leaned down and kissed her gently before releasing her. “But can we talk more tonight? Actually talk?”
“Yes,” she agreed as she opened the door again and stepped into the hall. “We’ll talk. Promise me you’ll be careful tonight.”
“We’re just meeting,” I assured her. “We’re not hunting that thing down or anything. I’ll be perfectly safe.”
Of course, that wasn’t my decision. I’d wanted to be out there searching for this thing every night. But I was overruled. And to be fair, they were probably right. We didn’t even know what we were looking for, so going off half-cocked to chase down something that smelled like unadulterated evil was just a recipe for disaster.
But that didn’t mean I had to like it.
“You’re grinding your teeth,” Celia whispered as we walked down the stairs together.
“I’m frustrated,” I admitted.
“By me?” she asked, pausing to turn and look up at me.
“No!” I insisted, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Though there’s a little frustration because of you.” I gave her a smirk and she blushed softly as she dropped her gaze to the floor. “I just want to go out there and find this thing.”
“And you will,” Dad said, walking around the corner and looking up the stairs at us. “But not tonight and not on your own. Are you two ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” Celia said with a sigh as she turned again and headed for the door.
I was glad she’d agreed to get some help. As much as I knew she didn’t want to, I could only hope that once she met with Astrid she’d open up a little and start to deal with all the pain she’d been trying to bury for so long.
And maybe, when we got home, I might be able to help ease some of that pain for her, too.
I still didn’t know what we were going to be to each other, but I knew that I was falling fast for Celia Warner. And I really hoped she felt the same way about me.
Chapter Nine
~Celia~
We were about an hour and a half into my first two-hour appointment, and I had to admit that talking to Astrid actually did help a little. She was really nice, and it felt more like a conversation with a friend than a doctor.
It had taken some prodding on her part, but I’d eventually opened up about my father and the abuse and my disappointment in my mom’s inability to protect me from it.
I did feel better, but Astrid had warned me that it would take a long time, and a lot of talking through it over and over and over again, before the trauma of that experience would actually start to get better.
“Thank you for talking with me about all of that,” Astrid said, reaching forward to place her hand on my knee. “I know it couldn’t have been easy. But living through it wasn’t easy either…and you did. Eventually you’ll even see how it’s made you stronger.”
“I guess,” I said with a shrug. “I’m not much of a fan of the whole what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger mantra.”
“It certainly sucks to go through it,” Astrid agreed with a smile, leaning back in her chair. “But that doesn’t make it less true.” She lowered her gaze to the legal pad in her lap for a moment before looking back up at me. “Sometimes you just need to learn to accept the things that happen in order to be happy.” She paused again then continued. “Can we talk about your attack?”
“No.” I winced as I realized I’d snapped at her. “Sorry. But…no. I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Okay,” she agreed quickly. “We have about twenty minutes left. Is there anything you do want to talk about?”
“Not really,” I said. Considering I hadn’t actually wanted to talk at all when we’d gotten started, I figured she’d gotten enough out of me for one session. “Can I take off?”
“If you want,” she answered, disappointment clear in her tone.
“I do,” I insisted. “Thank you. Really. I do feel better.”
“I’m glad.” She gave me a soft smile. “That’s the point of therapy.”
Logically I knew that. My refusal to seek treatment all these years had nothing to do with not wanting to get better and everything to do with not wanting to talk about the stuff that messed me up in the first place.
