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“That doesn’t mean you’re not towing the line.”
“Dax has no intentions toward me. He’s made that very clear.”
Dad scoffed. “He desires you. He just doesn’t think he should.”
“What makes you say that?” I asked.
My dad knew nothing about the infamous final massage, or anything Dax had ever said acknowledging our chemistry.
“I sensed an energy between you the night he came to tell you about Rafe. You were flustered. It’s clear he has an effect on you. And I caught the way he looked at you. Why wouldn’t he be smitten?”
“Well, any attraction between us is a moot point. He won’t touch me with a ten-foot pole because I’m Rafe’s sister. He’s too afraid of hurting Rafe—or hurting me, thus hurting Rafe. Dax and I will have to remain friends only, for Rafe’s sake.” I added under my breath, “He’s got some woman he messes around with anyway.”
My father took a sip of his coffee. “Does Sam know you spent the night there?”
Ugh. “Yes. He wasn’t thrilled. He doesn’t trust Dax, which is ridiculous because it wasn’t even Dax’s idea for me to stay the night. I sort of gave him no choice but to offer me a room because I refused to let him call me a car.”
My father chuckled. “Be honest, Wren. You know you can’t lie to me.”
He was too perceptive. “What do you mean?”
“You knew damn well if you drank, you wouldn’t be able to drive. You knew I was working second shift and couldn’t pick you up. Although you could’ve certainly called me later, but you chose not to. You wanted to stay the night.”
My father knew me better than anyone. “What do you want me to say?”
“You don’t have to say anything because again…I know you.”
“Any feelings I have for Dax are futile.”
“You’re underestimating the weakness of men if you think this guy doesn’t have the capability to break his resolve. The more you do things like spend the night, the more you hang out together, the more likely that is to happen. I think you also need to decide if you want to put him in that position.”
Talk about a guilt trip. But he was right. “I don’t know what to think, Dad. Okay? Yes, I do have feelings for Dax. I have from the moment I met him—before I ever knew who Rafe was. But I also agree that nothing should happen between us. I just can’t seem to help wanting to be around him.” I looked away. “He has this…mix of strength and vulnerability. And when I’m with him, I always want to share more than usual. I’m obviously physically attracted to him, too.”
“I hadn’t noticed.” Dad laughed.
Wren
In the two weeks since the night I’d spent at Dax’s, Rafe had started to talk more. It was mostly little comments here and there or answering simple questions, but that was a huge step in the right direction.
Dax was cautiously optimistic that things were finally turning around. Needless to say, Rafe’s therapist and teachers were thrilled, even though they remained confused as to what to attribute the change to. They tossed around the word spontaneous a lot.
Rafe had come to see me as a family friend. One afternoon, I stopped by the house in Brookline to pick him up while Dax was at work. Rafe’s school was closed today for staff meetings, so I’d offered to take him to a new bookstore that had opened in Cambridge. I’d noticed their large comic-book section and knew Rafe would love it.
He and I took the Red Line train to Harvard Square and walked the short distance to the bookstore. He chose two books, which I insisted on paying for, and I bought myself a nonfiction book. We picked up two hot chocolates from a café and took our new books to a nearby park. It was a little chilly but otherwise the perfect day for reading.
I wanted to take advantage of our time alone to try to get him to speak to me, so at one point while we sat on a bench, I interrupted his reading.
“I don’t know if you know this, Rafe, but I lost my mother at a young age. I was five. So I understand what you’re going through. I wanted you to know that. We have a lot of common interests, but I wasn’t sure if you knew we had that in common, too.”
He looked pensive. After a long moment of silence, though, he absolutely shocked me.
“But did you kill her?”
What? I blinked. “No. Of course not. She died in a car accident. Why would you ask that?”
He continued to stare straight ahead. “Because I killed mine.”
My breath left me. “What are you talking about?” Maren had died of a brain aneurysm, so I couldn’t begin to fathom why Rafe would say such a thing.
