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She let out an unladylike scoff in response to his request. “I am not an animal, sir. My vendetta is with you and not your servants so you need not worry.”
Alexander said nothing as the door of the carriage opened. Caroline stepped out and stared up at the townhouse. She had to admit, despite herself, that he had a beautiful home. If only she could look forward to happier days in it.
Caroline put on a brave smile and walked up to the staff. She had been given documents familiarizing her with them before the wedding and even though she hated her marriage, she learned everything she was supposed to. Those poor people did not have to suffer due to her unhappiness. The housekeeper, Mrs. Beagle, greeted her with so much enthusiasm, that Caroline was equal parts glad and worried. Did she find her job so straining that she was glad the manor now had a lady to look after it or was she just that happy to see her?
“I hope to learn a lot from you, Mrs. Beagle. Perhaps we could go over the arrangements and schedules tomorrow after I am fully rested,” she said to the housekeeper, smiling charmingly.
“Yes, my Lady,” Mrs. Beagle said and motioned for a girl to come forward. “This is Polly, Lady Caroline. She is your Lady's maid and shall take care of all your needs.”
Caroline smiled. At least one thing was going her way, the servants all appeared to like her and welcome her gladly.
“Come now, madam. Let me give you a tour of the house.” Caroline turned to Alexander and saw his outstretched arm reaching for her. She stood for a moment, indecisive, but then walked over to him and placed her fingers on his elbow so he could lead her inside.
Alexander gave her a brief tour, taking her through the morning room to the garden. She wished he had saved it for last so she could spend more time there. It was not perfect, but she loved gardens and this one reminded her of the one back home. There were even some wilting white lilies growing wild at a corner. This would most definitely be her favorite spot in the house.
She left the garden unwillingly, and let Alexander continue with his tour after she saw how impatient he was to move on from the spot.He must not be a fan of gardens.Or maybe it is me he is not a fan of.
After the tour, Alexander deposited Caroline in her bedchamber. “These shall be your private quarters. The maids have already brought your things up. Your Lady's maid will come to get you when it is time for dinner,” Alexander said to her and bowed his head slightly, taking his leave.
……
Alexander sighed heavily as he shut Caroline’s door behind him, leaning back against it. He had done it. He was a married man. The two weeks leading up to his wedding had been hellish for him. After he made up his mind to follow his father’s advice, he could not meet with Isabella because he was certain that doing so would destroy his resolve. He was forced to convey his apologies in a measly letter. All the time they had spent loving each other, was reduced to a single sheet of paper.
He hated the way it made him feel, and he hesitated for two whole days before finally sending the letter. Isabella did not respond. He had not expected her to.
Perhaps because they noticed his foul mood, his parents had put in extra effort, gifting him and Caroline the house. His father had given him many encouraging words, telling him that this too would pass, and that if he opened his heart, he might end up happier than he expected. He took his father’s words to heart, but they did not change the bleakness of his situation. Kind words or not, he had abandoned the woman he loved.
He let himself grieve his love for the two weeks right up to the wedding morning, and then he dragged himself up to face his responsibility. He even tried to approach Caroline neutrally, but she had ignored him. If she was so angry, then why did she orchestrate their marriage? Was it that he wasn’t what she expected? Perhaps she hadn’t expected him to pick a fight with her. It was true that doing so wasn’t part of his original plan. It wasn’t very gentlemanly of him.
He pushed himself away from her door and went to his study. He had just walked in when he heard a knock. It was Mrs. Beagle.
“Come in,” he said, leaving the door hanging open and heading to his desk.
“Thank you, my Lord.” Mrs. Beagle shut the door behind her and walked forward, putting a document on his table.
Unfastening the buttons of his coat at his neck Alexander picked it up and glanced over it. It was the budget to run his household taking into account the staff he now had. He was a real man now, no longer underneath his father and running a household of his own. He had to take care of everything, but this part would be Caroline’s job. He didn’t know if she could run a household yet, but from the way she had spoken to Mrs. Beagle earlier, she at least seemed to understand her responsibilities.
“I asked that more allowance be allocated as I do not know the Lady’s tastes. The furniture, decorations, and quality of the food are all dependent on her. She might be more inclined toward the finer tastes, so I suggest that more funds be approved in case.” Mrs. Beagle seemed worried.
Alexander knew what was bothering her. Though she was not aware of the details, Mrs. Beagle had been a member of his family’s staff and knew the marriage was not a love match. She was probably worried that he would not want to approve a large allowance for Caroline to carry out her duties. If he did not she would be put in the tough position of needing to tell Caroline that they did not have enough money if she turned out to want expensive things.
“I approve. In fact, my wife is allowed to spend as much money as she likes. It is up to her to decide the matters of the household. Report to me after she is done, of what she decided.” While Alexander meant his words, because he had no intention of robbing Caroline of her rights, he was also curious about what she would do.
He was from one of the more affluent noble families, so money was not an issue, but if Caroline had tastes too high for her status, not only would it put a strain on their pockets, it would also make them look gaudy in the eyes of other nobles. On the other hand, if she were too frugal, it would appear that she did not care for the household at all, and they would become the laughingstock of society.
Mrs. Beagle’s eyes lit up as he gave Caroline free reign. “Understood, my Lord!” she said excitedly, leaving him. Alexander leaned back in his seat and sighed. It was just the first day of many, but he was already tired. Was this how it usually was? He supposed this tiredness was all that would be left since the excitement that usually came with marriage didn’t exist for them.
He was supposed to return to her later —to consummatetheir marriage. The image of the first time he saw her attacked his senses once more. The softness of her skin, her flushed face, and her light blue eyes. He felt a surge of desire run through him and jumped to his feet.
“Damnation,” he cursed, rubbing his hands over his eyes. He could not lie to himself that he did not find her attractive. He had been taken by her beauty even as she ignored him in the carriage. It felt awful to admit that he wanted her. He didn’t love her; it was a purely physical attraction. He hated it. It made him feel like a cad. How could he let himself fall to such carnal temptations so soon and so emptily?
I cannot go to her tonight.
It would be bad if word got out that he didn't spend his first night with his wife, so even though he wanted to leave right away and seek solace in a bottle, he didn't want to sully his wife's reputation. Instead, he went to work on the documents for the coal mine and farms his father had given him for his upkeep. He would work through the night.
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My dear reader,
