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I open the fridge and grab the microwave meal. It’s hard cooking for just one person, so Salisbury steak and potatoes it is. It gets popped in the microwave for three minutes, and I pace around the kitchen until its done.
Will Sherrie come home tomorrow? Lee says he is going to talk to her about everything tonight. This is messing with me, and I don’t want this to strain my relationship with Sherrie. They are close, but so are we. I didn’t expect this from her until she was a teenager, because it’s inevitable at that age, but not now. I take the tray and sit down on the couch, trying to fake enjoying how this tastes. Home cooked meals are so much better than this crap. How do people eat these every day?
I’m so used to having Sherrie around. When we get home, it’s usually cooking dinner, eating, and then getting her showered and ready for bed. None of that tonight, so I guess I'll just watch some TV to pass some time until bed.
Just as I’m taking my last bite, someone knocks on my door, and then Tina walks in.
“I brought wine!”
She catches me off guard, and I forget about her coming over. These past couple days have been a blur, and I hope it slows down. I can’t keep up at this rate. The lack of good sleep is wearing on me, but maybe some wine will help knock me out.
“Hey girl. You’re speaking my language.”
With everything going on, I need to talk to someone, and Tina is my closest friend. She’s never judged me. This situation is draining me, mentally and physically, and I don’t want to see a therapist. Hell, I can’t afford it, so my best friend will have to do.
She goes to the cabinet and grabs two wine glasses and then plops down on the couch next to me. She pours the wine and hands me a glass. Her eyes wander over my face and then tilts her head.
“You look like hell. What’s going on?”
Wow, no sugar coating it, huh? I haven’t told her about the things going on with Lee and me. Talking about relationship issues with others only invites them to misconstrue information. So, because of that, I’ve kept these things private, but tonight I’m going to let it all out. Getting it off my chest might do me some good, and then Tina might stop asking so many questions about the break-up.
“Before Sherrie came along, things weren’t going great between us and we were on the verge of breaking up.”
Tina’s eyes grow wide. “You never told me that. Why did you guys stay together?”
“We wanted to try to make it work for the baby. And after a couple years, I think we just stayed together for her sake. Neither of us mentioned how unhappy we were, and that’s the problem.”
It’s admirable to try to work things out when you have kids, but it doesn’t mean things will get better. A child is not going to improve a suffering relationship. If anything, it will throw in some obstacles. Babies are hard, and being tired all the time, and emotional isn’t going to reflect well on an already failing relationship.
“Why? You should stand up for yourself, no matter who you are with. Relationships don’t work unless you are willing to say when something is bothering you.”
And she’s right. I should have spoken up a long time ago, and maybe things could be different between Lee and myself, but I didn’t. Little things turned into big things and we just aren’t meant for each other. Love doesn’t conquer all. That’s just what fairytales want us to believe.
“Girl, we were more like roommates than a couple. We had sex maybe three times in the last four years. And I think we were both afraid to hurt the other.”
She refills our glasses before responding. “That makes sense. You became complacent. It happens and a lot of relationships fall apart from it. Life moves fast, girl.”
Tina doesn’t even know the half of it. “So, you tell your husband every time you don’t like something or something is bothering you? I highly doubt that. You aren’t perfect and neither is he. Sometimes, it’s easier to just shut up than start a fight.”
This is exactly why I don’t talk about relationships with people, because they always want to project like theirs is perfect. No one is perfect, and things happen. You have to pick your battles, and sometimes you don’t realize it’s a battle you should fight until after the fact.
“So you guys just sat down and decided to break up? I mean, after a decade? That just seems crazy to me. I literally had no idea you were having problems.”
Even though Lee and I weren’t intimate, we became good friends and I think that portrayed the happy couple vibe. We tried to make it work, but we couldn’t keep making excuses. We owed it to ourselves to find someone who made us truly happy in every way.
“Are you guys getting along? I mean, most couples can’t stay friends after a break-up?”
I think with us, because there is an established friendship there, and we broke up by mutual agreement, that we will still remain friends. Co-parenting is a huge deal to me, and I don’t want Sherrie to witness me and Lee dad fighting. I think we have a great chance
“How is she taking it? On move in day, she didn’t even seem phased by it.”
I explain to Tina that Sherrie is upset with me and even accused me of making Lee mad, which is breaking my heart, but we knew this wasn’t going to be easy. She is at an age where she doesn’t truly understand things, and it’s not appropriate to try to explain our situation.
“She loves you, girl. Don’t let it question your relationship. She is going to have to deal with this break-up too. Give her some time.”
Tina gets up from the couch and grabs the bottle of wine to refill our glasses, and turns on the tv. It’s nice to be able to talk about this with her, and wish I would have confided in her about all the things going on with Lee.
I’m done talking about all this, and want to change the subject.
