AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I can’t talk. Can’t say how happy I am. So, I simply wrap my arms around her. She encourages me to stay the night, reminding me if I change my mind that there’s shopping in the morning. And something about our conversation settles some of my nerves but not all of them.
I need to get out of here. Clear my head. And make a rational decision. There’s no way I’ll be able to do that with Ben and his perplexing self a few feet away.
Grabbing my bag, I head downstairs, peeking around each corner until I’m free and clear of the bed-and-breakfast. Dropping my bag in the trunk of my car, I make a mental note that I’ll stop in a few minutes to change out of my bridesmaid dress. It’s not all that uncomfortable, but if I’d not been hoping to avoid a certain someone, I’d have taken the time to change before hitting the road.
Just as the trunk closes, I hear his voice. “Leaving so soon? In such a hurry to run away.”
I stand frozen, unmoving, for a good minute before I turn to face him. He’s sitting on the porch swing situated on the corner of the house. Casual. Reclined, relaxed.Asshole. He’s driving me insane, and I’m losing what few marbles I have left.
My back is to him, but I feel his eyes on me as my fingers grip the driver’s door and pull it open. Of course he can’t let it—or us or whatever this is—be for two freakin’ seconds.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Is it possible to drive someone insane with solely a tone of voice? I’m certain it’s possible when I hear the thick, mocking tone. I turn, seeing the expression that is always in place to match it. The one I’ve pictured decking more than once. And I’m still considering it until I see what’s in his hand, and he lifts the mug to his lips. My mug.
No. I’d grabbed everything in my room, or thought I had, but must have forgotten the one thing that can’t be replaced. I need both—my mug and my dad’s. I can’t possibly use his. And I can’t replace mine. And Ben knows that. Obviously, because he’s casually sipping from the one thing he knows I won’t leave behind.
Stomping up the stairs, I stop in front of him and hold out my hand. Instead of being decent and passing me the ceramic cup, he takes another slow sip, his tongue wiping an excessive drop of coffee off his lips just before a smile peeks at the corner of his mouth. He’s enjoying this way too much. And I’m watching his mouth and remembering what his tongue did to me.
“Just give me the damn cup, jerk.”
“Say please.”
My shoulders fall forward, my hands dropping to my side. “This is still a game to you. Just drop the BS for a little while. Give me the mug. Let me go.”
Every bit of arrogance falls from his face as it’s replaced with what looks like doubt, or maybe regret. His eyes look to my mug, at his hands gripping the sides of it. He stands slowly, stepping closer to me, then he carefully sets the mug on the little side table next to the swing. Within both of our reach. “I tried to let you go. I couldn’t. And that was before I knew what it was to wake up next to you. And that’s what I want. You.”
“I’m no good at relationships. I don’t know how to be with someone and not push them away.” At least that was the overall gist I got from Drew when he was leaving. Yeah. It was me who told him to get out, but I knew we were doomed to break up eventually, and he confirmed it when he left. “You said it yourself. Control issues and all.”
Ben removes the distance between us, slowly moving to me. His fingertips trail up my arm, his eyes following the path. “And I love everything about you. I’m not scared of being with you. I’m scared of living without. So let’s figure this out together.” His eyes lock with mine when he leans forward, tenderly feathering a kiss over my lips. “Besides, there’s no insult that you can tell me that I haven’t heard from that sexy mouth at this point. And I look forward to kissing it every day from here on out when you try.”
Janice’s words repeat in my head. And I latch on to the belief that no matter what happens between me and Ben, my family will still be there. But the problem is, even if he drives me insane, he’s my family too. He’s the person I love, and don’t want to live without. Avoiding him, running from him, never made the feelings lessen. Maybe there’s a reason for that. Because we’re supposed to be together. “Promise me. No matter what happens between us, I won’t lose my family. Sarah, your parents—they’re my family, and I love them so much.”
“And no matter what happens between us, they’ll still be your family. I’ll do everything and anything to always make sure you’re happy, whether we’re together or not, Josie, because when you love someone, their happiness is more important than anything else.”
How will I ever love without this man? I won’t. So, we have to make it work because I need all of them in my life. “And you. I love you. And I need you.”
A smile stretches across his lips as he pulls me closer to him. “Stubborn, gorgeous-ass woman. It’s about time you admit the truth and accept what’s always been yours. Me.”
I have a feeling I might still long for that duct tape every now and then, but he’s right. The thought of living without him, waking up next to him, giving us a chance, is scariest of all.
