AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No one knows. Then one night, she attacked her. We had to restrain Katrina to stop her from hurting anyone, including herself. She’s getting the help she needs.”
“Can I see her?”
“Not yet, darling. Each time one of us tries, we set her back. The center has asked that we don’t visit, because it’s too hard on her.”
“Can I write her a letter?”
“I’m sure you can.” She squeezes my hand. “I have fresh bread and garlic butter in the kitchen.”
The last thing I want to do is eat. I’m exhausted. My emotions are being pulled in every direction. I need time to myself. Time to figure out who the hell I am. This is the fresh break I need.
“Honestly, Mom, I just want my bed right now.”
“Okay, darling.”
I leave my mother to walk up the stairs toward my bedroom.
My room is pink and fluffy. It reminds me of a child’s room. My medals and trophies from cheer line one of my walls. It all seems insignificant. There are pictures of Alfonso and me on my dresser. I study our body language in the pictures. Each photo reminds me of what a great friend he’s been, but nothing about them says he loves me.
He possesses nothing that Romeo has. There’s no fire or urgency. I completely understand now. Neither of us had that spark. We fell into this pattern since we’re best friends while accepting our arranged marriage. I have never been known to rock the boat and go against anything my father has set out for me.
My mind wanders back to Romeo. The passion we shared made me high for him. A single touch would have me panting, forgetting everything but what he can do for me. In the end, all my brother had to do was offer him a piece of territory. Not even land. Just a place they can call theirs. That was my worth to him.
My stomach bottoms out at the realization that I wasn’t enough for him. It doesn’t matter that I planned to leave him anyway. I suppose I expected him to never let me go. It didn’t matter what I said or did. I like when Romeo demands things from me. I wanted to stay but didn’t want his death on my shoulders.
Romeo should be home by now. He must be on cloud nine, realizing that he did the impossible. He had my brother agree to give a Mancini more territory. I wonder if he’s planning his revenge for my betrayal. He’ll see my actions as that. I did what everyone in his life has. I refused to believe in him by not choosing him.
It’s for the best; I know this. At least in my mind I do. My heart is battling over it. With my sacrifice, he will finally reach his dreams. No, that’s not entirely true. He reached his dreams because he had the drive to make them happen.
My stomach doesn’t settle down for the rest of the night. It whooshes each time I think of Romeo. He’s better off without me. I’d be nothing more than a liability to him.
I try to blink the wetness from my eyes, but it has my tears raining down my cheeks faster. I cry so hard I can taste my salty tears in my mouth. I miss Romeo. I already know I made the wrong choice by not fighting for us.
The next morning, my eyes are swollen from not sleeping. I refuse to come out of my room. My mother keeps piling baked goods into my bedroom, each one causing my stomach to bottom out when I glance at them.
I can’t find the energy to move when I know my life will never be the same. What I want can never happen. There’s no alternate universe where my father would allow Romeo Mancini to be with me.
