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Word travels fast in our world. I have Hugo stepping into the dirty soil of the farm. He’s never been out here. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to him before. Truly had a conversation. I was brought up with him being one of my uncles, due to how close he and my father were. All of my father’s top men were my uncles. The fact they weren’t blood-related didn’t matter.
“Hi, Romeo.”
I stand from the porch and walk to meet him. I refuse to show my nervousness around him. With everything happening, I don’t know where I stand with in the Cosa Nostra. He could be here to take me out.
We shake hands. “My condolences.”
The small sounds of the farm circle around us when he doesn’t respond. I wonder if he blames me for his son’s death.
He finally breaks the growing awkward silence between us. “You remind me of your father.” He takes a moment to look around the farm. “He too had to rise from the ashes. His father used to beat him if anything went wrong. One time, his crew was attacked. He was the only one who lived. So, your grandfather shot him. Told him if he lived, he would be made. But he needed to live through the same pain his crew had. He was tough on him. It’s one of the reasons your father refused to put you in danger. He always thought you had greater potential than what we offered. If he were alive today, he would be proud. I’m proud to make you one of my captains. You have quickly gained the respect of others. It’s a testament to your leadership skills.”
This is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. I wait for the catch. I worked so hard to come to this point; I’m waiting for it to be yanked away from me. I wait for it to grab hold of my heart, knowing I’ve earned it.
I envisioned this day differently. It’s lacking and anticlimactic. I should be ecstatic. Gloating. Relieved. I finally made it happen for my brother and me. But I just feel empty.
“Thank you, Uncle.”
“I need you or your brother to take a trip for me.”
“I’ll do it.” If he’s asking for my brother, he wants someone gone. I need to work out this thing that’s clouding over me.
A week haspassed, and the emptiness that consumes me follows me around like a dark cloud. I don’t normally enjoy killing anyone, but it’s part of my life. When I pulled the trigger, I didn’t regret it. I didn’t enjoy it. I stayed empty, with no emotions.
My edge is gone. I’m good at what I do, because I feel. I have a temper. I work well because of the anxiety that courses through me. It pushes me.
All of a sudden, I reached my dreams, and it’s not important anymore. I don’t give a fuck about it. I let Gia fucking Rossi get away. I’m no different than I was in high school. I took a step back. But now I know what she tastes like. I know how her skin is smooth to the touch. My soul won’t let me forget about her. It refuses to push her behind me. She’s all I can think about. She is all I see. And I fucking sold her like a piece of property. I’m no different from my father.
He had the same air about him. He would sell anything and anyone if it helped him succeed. I strived to be different. In the end, I still turned out like him.
“What do you have to mope around about?”
“I’m not fucking moping,” I snarl at Max. The heat of the day has sweat covering my skin. I’m going to miss this place. Fuck, I never thought I would say that.
“You have everything you wanted. It’s in the palm of your hand. We did it.”
I scoff. It’s true, and I still hate everything. My mind immediately conjures an image of Gia. It’s the only time my body reacts. I want to punch or kill someone. Anyone but her though. She’s the one who deserves my punishment, and I still can’t make myself want to hurt her. She deserves my hatred, and I’m too weak to bring that emotion out. That’s how empty I am.
“It’s not enough.”
Deep inside, I know it will never be enough until I have Gia by my side. She’s always been my end game. Where I landed within the ranking of the mafia was a pastime I did until I made her mine. Now, it’s pointless. I had what I honestly wanted under me. Needing me. And I lost her. I let her go without a fight. I willingly chose this life over her.
I thought it would be enough. I thought if I had to force her love, it would destroy me. None of that was true. I would take her chained up, forcing her love, over what I have now.
“How is it you’re still hung up on Gia, when you’ve never cared about another human being in your life?”
She’s my obsession. Her sinful kisses fueled me to greatness. Now, I’m left as a shell of the person I once was. I feel a tingle of hurt, anger, and betrayal all rolled together. The moment is fleeting until I’m left with emptiness once more.
I want to hate her for ruining me. If I didn’t save her, I would still be myself. I’d be happy with what I have. It’s because of her I want more.
My brother is staring at me, and only then do I remember he asked me a question. “Fuck off.”
“The Romeo I know would stop at nothing for what he wants.”
“Have you forgotten I got what I want? What we want. You’re welcome.”
“You’re being a fucking idiot.” He patronizes me. I shake my head in disbelief, ready to walk away. “I expected you to put up a fight. Chase her or something.”
Blowing out a deep breath, I try to keep my temper at bay. “She chose what she wants.”
