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Chapter Ten
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It had been a few days since Lilly had seen Jack. She was happy that he suggested dinner; it was just what she needed to keep her mind off of Ryan and her new case at work.
Lilly was in her miniature bathroom as she focused on trying to make her hair wavy, similar to Payton’s. She just loved how it always looked but, unfortunately, was never quite able to duplicate it. Holding up her curling iron to try to get the perfect curl, her cell phone went buzzing off the bathroom counter, creating a chain of reactions. She was concentrating so hard on her hair that the sound of the phone going off had her jumping in fright, which caused her to drop the curling iron and burn the side of her neck. Lilly’s bathroom was so tiny that the cord to the curling iron was wrapped around her purse that sat on the counter, causing it to fall with its contents scattering onto the floor.
“Shit!” Lilly huffed to herself as she held her hand to the burn and quickly wet the face cloth that was draped over the sink faucet to apply it to her reddening skin. Shaking her head in frustration, as much as she could without causing herself pain from the burn, she slowly bent down to pick up the contents from her purse. There it was looking directly at her—the pregnancy test. How could she have forgotten to take the test already? But Lilly knew. There was a side of her that did not want to know and that wished the situation away. She just stood there with the test in her hand, looking at it. What if there was a baby growing in her, what if there wasn’t?
“Fuck.” Lilly opened the container while talking to herself. “Here goes everything.” And she proceeded to take the test.
She was hoping that maybe her period was extremely late. A stone sat in her stomach, not leaving, slowly turning round and round. Her job was stressful, and Dr. Google did say stress could cause a period to be late. Her body shook slightly while she waited. Silently, she prayed. Please don’t be pregnant; please don’t be pregnant! Her whole future flashed in front of her eyes. She had no room for a baby in her life.
“Just two minutes…just two minutes.” Lilly sat on her toilet seat, staring at the timer on her phone, waiting for the time to be up.
She had the test face down on the counter, afraid to look at it until after the designated waiting period. Nervously comforting herself, she continually ran her hands through her golden, sun-kissed locks. Slowly, she reached out for the answer to her future when her phone buzzed from the floor. Deciding to ignore it, she picked up the small, white plastic stick. There staring back at her was a big, pink happy face. Was that happy she wasn’t pregnant or happy because she was? Looking back to the box her most feared thoughts were confirmed. The happy face was supposed to be a good thing, the good thing being pregnant. Lilly’s doorbell rang, interrupting her thoughts of attempting to rationalize her situation.
Placing the white stick back down, Lilly went to answer her door, promising herself that she would deal with the issue as soon as whoever it was went away.
“Lilly, I wasn’t sure if you would be home, I tried calling.” Ryan stood in front of her, looking very awkward and nervous.
“Ryan, what can I do for you?” She stayed in her doorway, shocked at the surprise visit.
“Can I come in?” Ryan took a step closer to the door but Lilly did not move.
“Why are you here?”
“Do you have company?” Ryan tried to look around her as she stood as a human blockade.
“No, what are you doing?” Standing with her arms crossed, Lilly did not budge.
“Sorry, I’m barging in on you, but I have to talk to you.” He was giving her his pleading green eyes that she did not have the heart or energy to turn down.
“Well, all right.” She took a step back, letting him in. “But make it quick, I have plans tonight.” And a situation to deal with.
Ryan stood in Lilly’s living room, pacing back and forth.
He must be nervous, Lilly mused. But he was about two minutes too late, or about a month too late. However one may want to think of it. She was pregnant. Oh fuck, she was pregnant!
“I’ll get us a drink.” She had to leave the room because it was beginning to spin, as she thought more about the impact of her situation. She could not bring herself to say pregnant to herself, even in her head. It was easier just to think situation. A drink would calm them both down. What would she say to him when he confessed he still loved her? Should she tell him? Lilly poured two glasses of white wine as she pondered. Letting a deep breath out, she went back to Ryan with the drinks.
“Cheers.” Ryan lifted his glass to hers and smiled.
They both took a big gulp, but as Lilly was beginning to enjoy her much needed drink she spit it back into her glass.
“What’s wrong?” He eyed her suspiciously. “Something wrong with the wine?”
“Um, no. I forgot that I am on a body cleanse, and I am trying to stick to it.”
“Did Payton put you up to this? You know she has shit for brains.”
“Excuse me!” No one but her could say that about her sister.
“Sorry. I just meant that Payton doesn’t always look at the whole picture, and she seems to always be on some new supposed health kick.” Looking at Lilly as he spoke, he noticed a sadness in her eyes.
“How are you, Lilly?” He put his hand on her shoulder to offer sincerity. He would have liked to pull her in for a comforting hug, but he knew if she ever let him back in he would have to work for it.
Quickly composing herself, Lilly asked, “What did you want to tell me? It sounded important.” She took a seat on her couch and patted beside her, indicating for him to sit down.
