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“It’s not exactly something he wants to broadcast.”
“No, but I’m his coach. I should know my players. Know their struggles. I’m supposed to make it my business to know,” he murmured to himself, disappointment etched into his expression.
A beat passed, the air sticky around us.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Lily? You could have come to me about this.”
“It was new, Dad. I’ve never felt this way about a boy before. And it was Kaiden. You said—”
“I know what I said, sweetheart. But I’m your dad. We talk shit sometimes.”
“For what it’s worth, I am sorry.” I dropped my gaze, but Dad slid his fingers under my chin and lifted my face back to his.
“I know, Lil. I know. Kaiden is a good guy, sweetheart. You should give him a chance to fix this.”
My heart squeezed as I gave him a sad smile and said, “I’m not sure he can.”
Everything was different now. Although it wasn’t Kaiden’s fault, not really, everything was tainted. I was tainted. I’d been strong this morning when Poppy was here. But I was already slipping.
“I’ve emailed my therapist,” I said.
“You have?”
“Yeah, I don’t want this to turn into something I can’t control. So, if it’s okay with you and Mom, I’m going to ask for weekly sessions again.”
“You know we’ll support you, Lily. Always.”
“Thank you. I don’t want it to be a huge deal though. I’m okay, and I will get through this.”
He regarded me for a second, his eyes glittering with unshed tears.
“Dad?” My mouth went dry. “Are you—”
“Proud, sweetheart. I’m so fucking proud of you. And I know this is a temporary setback, but you’ll overcome it, Lily. Because you’re strong. You’re a Ford, sweetheart. And Ford’s never quit.”
* * *
Peyton and Ashleighspent the day with me. We binged junk food and watched reruns of our favorite TV shows. And every time my fingers slipped to my braid, and it was a lot, one of them would distract me.
But for the last hour, Peyton had been distracted herself.
“Something you want to tell us?” I said, and she frowned over the top of her cell phone.
“Nope.”
“Wait, what are you doing? Who is that?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” She stuck her tongue out at me, and I rolled my eyes.
“Is it Bryan?” I could imagine them colluding to try to fix things between me and Kaiden.
I still hadn’t texted him back, and he’d finally stopped messaging me. I couldn’t explain it, but I needed some time before I saw him again. After baring my soul to him and it ending so badly, I guess you could say, I needed time to heal.
“Are you hungry?” Ashleigh asked. “We could get pizza? Or I’m sure Aunt Fee will—”
“I couldn’t eat another thing,” I said, rubbing my candy-filled stomach. “I’m surprised Mom hasn’t been up here, trying to feed us.”
“Actually, I think they went out.”
