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I could be with him in here and just talk or stand in awkward silence. It didn’t matter. I just didn’t want to go back out there and give Lindsey and her friends another reason to make my life any more difficult than it already was.
“Five-and-a-half minutes.”
God, that seemed like forever.
My eyes shuttered again as I focused on my breathing. In and out. In and out. I should have known coming down here would trigger me, but I hadn’t been thinking about the consequences, only the fact that Lindsey was looking at me. She was looking at me and smirking as if she’d already won.
“Hey, I think we should go,” Kaiden said. “You seem really uncomfortable.”
“No.” My eyes flew open, pleading with him. “I’ll be okay… I just…” My breath caught as my fingers went to the loose wisps of hair framing my face. The air was thick and heavy, and I struggled for every breath. It was like being at the bottom of a black hole, unable to claw my way out. Blood roared between my ears as dark thoughts circled my mind. The ceiling could give way and bury us… The sliver of light from an old lamp could blow, plunging us into total darkness… I could stumble and fall, landing on any one of the tools laying around… I could pass out and Kaiden would have to carry me back in front of everyone.
“I can’t breathe,” I cried, tears trickling down my cheeks. “I feel like I can’t bre—”
Large hands cupped my face, dark-gray eyes pinning me in place. “You’re okay, Lily. You just need to breathe.”
“I-I can’t, I can’t—”
His mouth crashed down on mine, swallowing my shriek of surprise.
Kaiden Thatcher kissed me.
He was kissing me.
I let out a shuddering breath as he fixed his mouth over mine again, kissing me harder. Kissing me until I was breathing his air.
I’d never been kissed before, not like this.Neverlike this. The panic coursing through me slowly melted away, replaced with molten lava. I was on fire, burning from the inside out as Kaiden’s tongue gently pushed past my lips and curled around my own.
One of his hands found its way to the back of my neck, anchoring me to him. Grounding me. I didn’t know how to kiss or what to do, but my body knew. It knew, and as Kaiden kissed me harder… deeper… it responded. It unfurled like a flower reaching for the sun.
I didn’t even know I’d reached for him, but when he finally ended the kiss, touching his head to mine and drawing in a sharp breath, my hands were locked behind his neck.
“What was that?” I whispered.
“A distraction… did it work?” His mouth curved with an uncertain smirk.
“Yeah, I think it did.” Aware we were still tangled up in one another, I let my arms fall to my sides. He took the hint and stepped back, putting some space between us.
“You were having a panic attack?” he asked, and I found no judgment there.
“Yeah, it happens sometimes.” It had been better recently, but an anxiety attack was never far away. Small places, loud crowds, dark rooms—I had a number of triggers. But at other times, it was completely irrational. Sometimes it snuck up on me so quickly that I didn’t even know it was happening until my body was shaking and my heart was racing.
“Do you feel okay now?”
Ducking my head, I nodded. “I-I think so.”
How embarrassing.
“I’m so sorry,” I rushed out.
“Sorry? You don’t need to be sorry. I’m guessing it’s not something you can control?”
I peeked up at him and gently shook my head. “This is why I tend to avoid parties.”
“Well, you shouldn’t. I bet—”
“Lily, Kaiden?” Lindsey’s voice reverberated around the hollow space.
“I guess our time is up.” I gave him a small smile.
