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Her brows pinched as I met her eyes. “It’s going to be okay, Lil. We’re seniors now. It’s our time to shine.”
That was just it though. I didn’t want to shine. I wanted to stay in my safe little bubble where I knew what to expect.
“Have you given any more thought to college?” she asked.
“I’m still not sure.”
“Well, you have time.”
Time.
It already felt like it was running away from me. Mrs. Bennet, the guidance counsellor, would want to know my plans. She would expect me to have some idea of where I wanted to apply, and when I told her my small list of in-state schools, she would encourage me to think further afield.
But the truth was, I wasn’t sure I was ready.
* * *
School wasa hive of activity when we arrived. Everyone was watching, waiting for the Rixon East kids to make their grand entrance.
I empathized a lot. When I’d started Rixon High, I’d been terrified. Middle school wasn’t easy for me. It should have been a blessing, being the daughter of one of Rixon’s most famous residents. But it was my curse. I loved my dad; I loved him something fierce. It wasn’t easy sometimes though, being Lily Ford, daughter of NFL legend Jason Ford.
“Lil?” Ashleigh said, pulling me back into the moment.
“Yeah, coming.” I gave her a weak smile and she laced her arm through mine. Poppy gave us a small wave and skipped off to find her best friend Sofia.
“Peyton and Sean look cozy.” Ashleigh motioned over to where he had our friend pinned up against the side of his car. His hand was buried in her hair as he leaned in, whispering something to her. Peyton giggled, her hands running up his chest.
A pang of jealousy zipped through me. She was so good at that, at being with guys. Flirting and having fun with them. She never let herself get close, that wasn’t Peyton’s MO, but she soaked up their attention like warm rays of sunshine. I envied her. Guys at school treated me like a social leper. I was Coach Ford’s daughter. The apple of his eye. The shy, meek girl who hung out in the shadows. Even if they were interested, and they weren’t, nobody was brave enough to ask out the coach’s daughter.
I watched Sean brush his lips over Peyton’s, once, twice… Most girls would have begged for more, batting their eyelashes and smiling seductively. But not Peyton. She gave him a saucy wink before slipping out from between him and his car and made her way over to us.
“You and Sean looked cozy?” Ashleigh said.
“He’s a cutie but I’m not sure he’s the guy for me.” She flicked her long platinum blonde hair off her shoulder.
“Are they ever the guy for you?” I asked.
“High school guys are fun but they’re too… eager.” Peyton let out a soft sigh, something flashing in her eyes. Sometimes, I wondered if it was all a front. Her confidence and bravado. Her don’t care attitude. But there were some things not even best friends told each other.
We made our way into school, and I focused on my breathing. In and out. In and out. Steady inhales and long exhales, until my racing heart started to calm.
“Okay?” Peyton squeezed my hand, and I nodded.
“Oh hey, Peyton, Ashleigh… Lily.” Lindsey Filmer and her cheerleader friends approached us. “Have you seen any of the East kids yet?”
“Nope.” Peyton pretended to pick her nails. “I was too busy making out with Sean.”
Lindsey’s eyes narrowed to slits. “You and Sean Farrow?”
“Well, yeah… I mean, you did break up with him before summer, right? So I figured he’s fair game.” She shrugged.
“Yeah, but I didn’t think he’d…”
“What? Choose the trailer trash over Cheer Barbie?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, I know exactly what you meant, Linds.” Peyton flashed her a saccharine smile. “Happy first day back.”
