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Xander
I wasin some kind of hell.
Peyton was pissed at me, and I didn’t blame her. But when Asher had teased me about bringing a lady friend around next year, the words had spilled out without thought. It wasn’t until I saw the hurt flash across her face that I knew I’d fucked up.
But it wasn’t like I could admit the truth.
Not yet.
“Is it wrong we’ve abandoned the kids?” Hailee asked. She was tucked into my brother’s side, looking a little glassy-eyed from one too many glasses of wine.
“Nah, let them have their fun,” Jase replied.
“I’m so proud of you, babe.” Fee kissed his jaw. “You handled everything very well.”
“Yeah, well, she’s going away to college next year,” he grumbled, “I guess two nights in a cabin with her horndog of a boyfriend isn’t going to kill me.”
“I still can’t believe you agreed to that shit.” Asher guffawed.
“Fuck you, man. Soon enough Sofia will be asking to shack up with her boyfriend on a romantic getaway.”
“I can handle it. I’m cool like that.” He winked.
“Did Peyton seem okay to you?”
My spine stiffened as I avoided making eye contact with Fee.
“She seemed quiet.”
“I think it’s to be expected,” Mya said. “Holidays are always going to be hard for her, a reminder of everything that’s happened.”
“I guess. I just worry we’re not doing enough.”
“You are. More than enough.” Mya smiled. “It’s a fine line between giving her space and gently encouraging her to face everything that's happened. It’s a good sign she’s willing to engage with counselling.”
“I need a smoke,” I announced, getting up with a slight sway. I’d buried my frustrations with one too many whiskeys.
“You need to quit that shit,” Cam called after me, but I waved him off, needing air.
After forcing us to eat the copious amounts of dessert, the adults, plus Aaron and Kaiden watched the game while the girls retreated to the den. Ezra had taken off earlier, after getting permission from Asher to leave. He’d managed to stay for dinner, and Asher and Mya had agreed that was better than nothing.
I could hear their laughter, the giggles and girlish shrieks. Aaron and Kaiden had joined them not long ago, and who knew what they were up to. But I didn’t dare go find out. Because I didn’t want to see the hurt in Peyton’s eyes again.
I was a fucking coward. Bold enough to love her in the shadows but too scared to love her in public.
Not that I loved her. I didn’t. Wasn’t sure I would ever be capable of that. But I cared for her, more than I ever thought possible.
The cold hit me and I burrowed into my jacket as I took off down to the lake for some peace. But I found none. Pulling out a smoke, I was about to light it when the rustle of leaves caught my attention.
“I thought I’d find you out here,” Peyton said. She’d wrapped a big chunky knit cardigan over her dress and pulled on her knitted hat.
“You shouldn’t—”
“Relax, no one saw me. The adults are all drinking and talking, and the others are playing silly games.” She kicked the frozen ground with her boot, refusing to look at me.
“Peyton…”
“The words just poured out,” she whispered. “Like you didn’t even have to think about them.”
