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Peyton
“Hey, can I come in?”Lily peeked around the door, her eyes brimming with sympathy.
“Sure.”
She closed the door and came and sat on the edge of the bed. “We’re worried about you.”
“I’m fine.”
Lie.
It was a big fat lie.
I wasn’t fine. My heart was shattered into irreparable pieces.
Xander was gone.
He’d left Rixon and never looked back. There had been no text messages, no calls, nothing.
He’d left town—left me—and I was just supposed to get on with things, as if I could breathe without him.
“Peyton, it’s been three days and you’ve barely left your room. This isn’t healthy.”
“I’m sorry if I can’t pretend everything is okay…” I clutched the pillow tighter, blinking away the tears. I’d cried incessantly after I walked away from Xander, from his poisonous, cruel words. I was surprised I still had tears left to cry.
“You know, it’s for the best—”
“Don’t, just don’t.” I gaped at her. How could she possibly say that? I loved him. I was in love with him, and people were acting like it was some silly high school crush that I would get over.
“Peyton,” she shuffled closer, reaching for my arm, “I know it hurts now, but it’ll get easier.”
“How can you say that? I feel like I’ve had my heart ripped out of my chest…” And there was nothing left but an empty hole.
“My dad only wanted to protect you. If Xander stayed and the two of you… People wouldn’t understand.”
I heard the words she didn’t say. I don’t understand.
“You deserve so much more, Peyton.”
“Oh my God,” I snatched my arm away, “stop telling me what I deserve. This isn’t a game, Lil. I’m not acting out because I’ve had it hard and want attention. Xander and I shared something. He knew… he knew what it was like for me.
“He tried to push me away. He fought the connection between us because he knew it was wrong. But sometimes, you don’t choose it…” It chooses you. God, those words would haunt me for a lifetime.
I’d truly believed Xander was my savior.
But when it came down to it, he was nothing more than a coward. I’d been prepared to fight for us, to risk the few relationships and friendships I had, for him.
What an idiot.
“I’m sorry,” Lily gave me a weak smile. “I guess I’m just finding it hard to understand… He’s Xander.”
“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you,” I murmured. She’d been hurt at first. But this was why I hadn’t trusted her with my biggest secret. She didn’t understand.
None of them did.
“Peyton, that isn’t fair…”
“None of this is.”
