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Except, she wasn’t.
Something akin to guilt slithered through me. She’d wanted space. Fresh air to breathe. I got that, probably better than most people. But it didn’t change the fact that she was down by the river—the same river she’d almost drowned in over a week ago—in the middle of the goddamn night.
Rixon was a small town, full of community spirit and low crime rates. But it didn’t mean she was safe out here. Bad things still lurked in the shadowy corners of town. I knew; I’d wandered across them enough. Drug dealers concealed in graffiti-stained alleys, seedy bars on the edge of town, the occasional dolled-up woman down by the trailer park looking to make a quick buck or two.
Rixon was like every other town in the country. You just had to look a little harder to see past the quintessential small-town veneer to find the cracks.
Peyton didn’t let up as we followed the river toward Jase’s neighborhood. Anger and disappointment swirled off her like a storm.
“Wait,” I called, as she took off around the side of the house.
“What?” She slowed, glancing back at me.
“Don’t sneak out again,” I said.
“Or what? You’ll rat me out to Jason?”
I nodded sharply, and her eyes widened.
“Asshole,” she breathed, but then her expression dropped, giving way to a young girl barely holding on. “You know. I just thought…” Peyton inhaled a sharp breath, and I saw her shudder even from my position on the sidewalk. She was at war with herself. With what she wanted to say and what she knew she shouldn’t.
“Forget it. It doesn’t matter.” Disappointment flashed in her eyes. “See you around, Coach Chase,” she seethed before slipping into the gated yard.
She was gone.
Just like that.
I ran a hand over my jaw as I shucked further into my jacket and took off in the opposite direction toward my apartment building. I should never have let her sit down with me. I should have nipped it in the bud before it became something else. Some kind of weird hero worship.
I’d saved her. But it wasn’t a debt I wanted her to repay.
In fact, I wanted everyone to forget. I wanted to go back to being regular old Xander Chase, living in the shadows.
Not that there was much chance of that now I worked with Jase and the team. No, I was in the spotlight whether I wanted it or not.
My brother’s voice flitted through my mind. It’s time to do something with your life, Xander. She’d want more for you than this. They both would. His words from our last big argument. I’d gone to him for yet another handout, after being let go by the foreman on the construction site where I’d been working. My weekly tab at Bell’s burned through my severance pay and when rent day rolled around, I didn’t have enough to cover it.
It had been the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Cameron had stood there, disappointment gleaming in his eyes as he berated me like a child. Like I was an eighteen-year-old hothead again and he was a thirty-four-year-old man trying to do the right thing.
I loved my brother, always had, always would, but somewhere over the years, things between us had become fraught. He couldn’t understand why I was so intent on wasting my life and I couldn’t stand to be held to his measure.
He’d given me the money, of course he had. But it came with an ultimatum—handle my shit or consider myself cut off from big brother’s bank account.
He’d threatened it before. But something about this time was different.
Feeling the bitter sting of shame snap at my heels, I pulled out my smokes and placed one between my lips, lighting it up. The tobacco filled my lungs, but I welcomed the burn. I didn’t look back as I crossed the street and melted into the shadows of the sidewalk that would lead me downtown to my apartment.
Hopefully, Peyton would heed my warning and rethink any future plans to sneak out. But something told me she wouldn’t. Because I’d been her once. A wounded animal trying to protect itself. It was the only reason I didn’t plan on telling Jase.
At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.
* * *
The next day at school,when I glanced over at Peyton across the parking lot, she didn’t look twice at me.
It shouldn’t have stung nearly half as much as it did.
