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“Fuck,” I hissed, hardly able to imagine what that must have been like.
I’d been through a lot—seen a lot. I’d watched as my mom lost her battle to the tumor growing in her brain. But it wasn’t the same.
“She was just laying there, dead. Her eyes still open, staring up at me.”
I felt her shudder beside me, and the strangest sensation hit me.
I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to take away her pain.
But I didn’t. Even though she was so close it would have been easy. Too close, like she assumed that night had connected us in some way.
“I always thought it would be easier,” Peyton said, heaving a ragged breath. “I thought it would be better to have a life without her rather than putting up with her bullshit. I said that to Lily. I said—”
“Don’t,” I said gruffly. “Don’t try and pin this on yourself.”
“But I said it. For a second, I thought my life would be easier if she overdosed… What kind of person does that make me?”
“We all think shit. Doesn’t mean that deep down we want it to come true.” I glanced over at her and her big blue eyes met mine, brimming with tears.
It twisted something inside me.
It shouldn’t have, but it did. And it was there… between us. A huge ravine, her on one side and me on the other, and that night filling the void.
This was dangerous territory.
Territory, I had no right crossing.
“We should go,” I said coolly, needing to put an end to this. She was hurting… hurting bad, and I wasn’t the right person to comfort her.
“G-go? But I thought—”
“It’s late. Too late for you to be out here alone.”
“But I’m not alone.” Her eyes softened.
Softened at me.
Fuck.
She had that starry-eyed look again. Dreaming of white knights and heroes come to save the day.
But I wasn’t either of those things.
Especially not for her.
Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, and way out of my depth, I clambered to my feet and said, “Come on. I’ll walk you home.” Because Jase would kick my ass six ways to Sunday if he knew I’d ever let her walk back alone in the middle of the night.
“And if I don’t want to go?” Peyton lifted her chin in defiance, fire flickering in her gaze.
“Don’t make me call Jase.”
Hurt flashed there. “You wouldn’t.”
“Try me.” My hand slipped to my jean pocket where my cell was buried.
“Fine.” She leaped up and stormed off, back up the embankment to the sidewalk.
Rolling my eyes, I jammed my hands into my pockets and took off after her. But Peyton stayed one step ahead of me, so I gave her space, trailing behind like a babysitter. Because I was the adult here and she was acting like a spoiled brat.
