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“No, I… I dropped out of high school.”
“Oh. What happened?” I let out a steady breath and Peyton flinched. “Sorry, it’s none of my business.”
“It’s okay. I just prefer not to relive that time of my life… I was a mess.”
“You could have played football at college though?”
“Where’d you hear that?” My eyes narrowed, a lick of shame racing up my spine. I suspected she already knew some of the story from Lily and Ashleigh, but still, I didn’t appreciate the pity in her eyes.
“People talk, Xander.”
“Yeah.” I tsked, scrubbing my jaw.
In a town like Rixon, all people did was talk.
Silence echoed around us. Peyton watched me with eager eyes, but I didn’t want to open that can of worms, to dredge up old memories. My life might not have been a success in comparison to Cam or Jase, but I was in a damn sight better place than I was back then. That had to count for something.
“It’s getting late,” I said.
“You can trust me, you know?” Her words sank into me, taking hold.
“You’re just a—”
“Kid, yeah. So you like to keep reminding me.” Hurt flashed over Peyton’s face. “I wish I was just a normal seventeen-year-old girl. I wish I hadn’t seen half the things I’ve seen, heard the things I’ve heard. God, I wished all I had to worry about was college applications, and who’s dating who.”
“Peyton, I—”
“I get it. You’re my best friend’s uncle. You coach the football team at my high school. You’re… a grown man, and I’m just a girl.” Her eyes glittered with pain. “I don’t want anything from you, Xander. I’m not that foolish to ever think you would see me as more than what I am, but I just thought… I thought maybe you got it. That maybe you understood.”
“I shouldn’t even be sitting out here with you.”
Bitter laughter spilled from her lips, shredding my insides. Of all the things I could have said… I chose that.
Fucking idiot.
“I guess one of us should leave then.” She stood up, moving for the door. Frozen in place, I watched her while unable to think of a single thing to say.
Peyton beat me to it anyway when she said, “Goodnight, Xander. I guess I’ll see you around.”
* * *
By the timewe piled onto the bus the next morning, I was still thinking about what Peyton said up on the roof terrace. I’d barely slept, turning her words over and over in my head. I thought maybe you got it. That maybe you understood.
She felt it. The strange affinity between us. I’d originally thought it was just some lingering sense of gratitude she felt toward me for saving her life. But the more time I spent with her, the more she opened up to me, I knew it was more than that.
It scared the fuck out of me.
I’d never met someone like me before. Someone plagued by dark thoughts and enough emotional trauma to sink a ship. Sure, I’d met people over the years who knew grief and loss and pain. But I’d never met someone like Peyton.
She’s just a kid.
Only, she wasn’t.
She was a young woman carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“Remind me never to have daughters again.” Jase dropped down onto the seat next to me, the team already in their seats.
“What’s up?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know.
