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And two, the fact that I didn’t care… because I wanted someone else. I even wanted…intimacy.
With Will, the Viscount himself.
This whole time, I’d been pretending like I wasn’t being ruined by him. Like I had used him to see my uncle.
But I was being ruined. And somehow, I was okay with it. Because Will was all I wanted… he always had been.
Even if he did break my heart.
I stepped out of Louisa’s room, walking slowly towards my uncle’s sick room. The door was slightly ajar, just as we’d left it, and I could hear a muffled conversation from behind the rectangle of wood.
Just as I was about to knock, I froze, hearing my name.
They were talking about me.
“I am a tradesman, my Lord. I’ve seen much of the world, and I know how bad it can really be.” My uncle spoke.
“Indeed, I am sure you do, sir.” Will responded, his voice measured.
“That said, you are far from the worst. Forgive me for saying so, but I’ve heard of your reputation. I was shocked that Amelia brought you here… but you’ve proven yourself to be a good man.”
There was a moment of silence.
“Now,” Nicholas continued, “I don’t know what your intentions are with my niece. But you should know that she is loved. I may not be able to provide her with the dowry she deserves, and I know her late father would hate to see her current position… but that doesn’t devalue Amelia. You are lucky to have befriended her, my Lord.”
“Indeed. I agree. As for my intentions…” Will said quietly, trailing off into silence.
“I urge you to consider marrying her.” Nicholas interjected, his tone serious.
I felt my heart beat faster in my chest.
Marriage?
To Will, of all people?
I had never dared to dream of such a possibility… would he even want me?Couldhe marry? His life was built upon debauchery. Recklessness and alcohol.
He had been drinking less, since we’d come to London together, that was true.
But,marriageto me? When he could marry the daughter of a duke? Or, perhaps more to his liking, a foreign opera starlet?
“Sir, I…” Will stammered.
I could hear the shock in his voice, and it stung of rejection.
Of course, Will wouldn’t want to marry me. How could I even entertain the thought for a moment? I wasnothing. The orphaned daughter of a poor steward, who had died without a penny. A mousy wallflower, aspinster, whose chance at marriage had already passed… I would probablyneverget a chance at love itself.
“Perhaps.” Will finally said, the word soft and quiet, almost like a whisper.
I felt as if my body was struck by lightning.
He said…perhaps.Perhaps he would marry me.
Me.
Amelia Allen.
My mouth fell open, and I didn’t know what to do or think. I wished ardently that I had never even heard this conversation at all, because now, I realized with an increasing panic, I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t unhear his words.
