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“I’ve never done this before. Kissed, or… or…”
Her words trailed off in silence to an obvious conclusion.
If her voice had initially been a small splash of water, it was now an entire bucket. I felt as if I was suddenly plunged into an icy bath as the realization of what I was doing began to hit.
I was seducing Amelia. And not only that, but I was poised and ready to take her virtue from her. Right here and now, against this very window.
To take her virtue.
This shouldn’t have bothered me. Even a few days ago, in the library, I had considered doing just that… until she herself had run away. But now, something was different. I felt something other than just lust for Amelia… I felt something bordering on… love.
I suddenly felt sick. I glanced down at my unbuttoned britches, shame creeping up my body like a crawling insect.
How could I have even comprehended of such a thing?
What kind of monster was I?
Before me was the girl of my childhood dreams… the mousy little thing who had been a friend, first and foremost, at a time when I myself had been innocent. And she was, still, as innocent as a lamb – sweet and kind and loving.
And here I was, a man who had done unspeakable things with woman across Europe. A man who needed a stiff drink of gin just to get out of bed in the morning.
A man with secrets he would take to the grave.
I could not taint Amelia in this way. I couldn’t take her virtue like she was a common courtesan or mistress. She deserved better than that. And I couldn’t live with myself after.
No.
I found myself backing away, the curtain nearly tripping me. Light from the outer room began to pour in, breaking whatever was left of the spell from moments before.
“I’m sorry. It was wrong of me.”
I managed to say, feeling my face flush with shame.
I watched her swallow nervously, yet again.
“No, no… Will. It’s okay, I just…”
“You should wait to fall in love, Amelia. I’m told it’s better that way.”
I said, more cruelly than I meant.
Her eyes widened.
It looked, for a moment, as if she was about to say something in response. But before she could, I was gone.
Chapter Thirteen
Amelia
Itwasarainy,grey English day, just like any other.
Right?
Except that, no - it wasn’t. In fact, the events of the morning had ensured that it was actually a day quite likenoother I had ever had… in my entire life.
The hide-and-seek had been a bit crazy at first, considering I was a fully grown women now, and Will was… well, whatever he was. But we’d played hide-and-seek countless times as children. It wasn’t entirely new territory, even if it did feel scandalous now.
This morning’s hide-and-seek, however, had ended in quite a different way than our childhood games, that was for sure. I had thought hiding in Will’s dressing room would be ingenious – after all, he thought me too much of a wallflower to even entertain the thought of entering such a private space, right?
