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He leaned against the boulder to my left. “The night sky. Other places don’t have this view. Since I can’t ever see the day sky, since sprawling cities bathed in light isn’t something I can have, I chose the best night sky there was.”
I pressed my lips together as his thoughts mirrored mine. Still, I moved onto the thing I knew we had to discuss.
“So, am I dying?”
He shook his head. “No. You appear to be in perfect health.”
“Maybe you just have bad taste.”
He let out a tired sigh. “I am sorry for hurting your pride, Ava. It surprised me and…” He paused for a long moment before continuing in asoft voice, “frightened me. I had a moment of terror that I finally had you and you were sick, that I would lose you so quickly.”
“Not sick, just defective.” I shook my head and spoke again before he had a chance to try and make me feel better—or try, because I doubted he could. “That fae woman called me a half-breed. Hunter and Grant wouldn’t tell me what she meant.”
“They probably don’t know.”
“That’s evasive.”
He leaned a hand on the boulder so he could look up at the sky with me, because he wasnotthe type to stretch out on a boulder. “Half-breed means a lot of things to the fae. It simply means, at its core, not pure. They often use the term for humans with any sort of other blood in them.”
“But I thought immortals couldn’t have children. So how could I have blood from something else in me?”
“There have been cases, rare though they are. Mages using unsanctioned magic, werewolves or vampires who are pregnant when changed, some of the fae who can reproduce with humans. Sometimes the fae simply use it when they mean a human with talents that imply somewhere in their lineage, they had something else, because they enjoy any insult they can use against humans.”
That was a wholly unhelpful answer. It didn’t tell me anything new about myself, didn’t give me answers.
“I wish I could explain what you were, Ava. I believe all our lives would be easier if we knew, but I’m not sure we ever will. There are times when things simply happen, when there is no explanation.”
I thought back to when Melinda had sat on my bed, and it seemed like a lifetime ago. “You know, just before this all started, a spirit came to me, and I told her the same thing. She wanted me to reassure her, to tell her there was some great purpose or plan to make her death mean something, but I couldn’t say that. I told her things happen and you have to make peace with it.”
“There’s truth to that. I’ve seen many new vampires try to make sense of the world, of why they became what they were, of why they would watch their old lives drift away, their loves ones die, and if they couldn’t accept that, if they couldn’t make peace with the change, they never lasted long. Eternity is daunting if you need it to make sense.”
But…I still wanted it to make sense. I wanted to close my eyes and know my suffering had been for a reason.
I kept the thought to myself. Knowing something and accepting it were two different things and they happened on their own schedules.
“So what now? I can’t imagine you signed up for wanting anything with a human you couldn’t even feed from.”
He twisted so he could look down at me, though the darkness hid his features. That didn’t stop me from feeling his glare. “You believe all I wanted from you was blood?”
“Seems like a driving factor, yes.”
“I have donors, Ava, and other avenues for feeding. You are more to me than a meal.” The way he spoke made me shiver. It was honest—and hungry—and since he couldn’t stand my blood, it was a hunger for something very different…
“So what am I? Because so far, I’ve brought you trouble, you can’t feed from me, I don’t listen to you—”And I’m currently sleeping with other men.
The thought happened so fast that I couldn’t stop it, but at least I’d kept it from pouring out of my mouth.
“And you’re sleeping with other men.”
“How the hell did you know I was thinking that?”
“It wasn’t hard to guess, Ava. I’m not blind.”
“Well, so what’s the answer? With all of that, I just can’t really see the benefits from your point of view.”
“I can’t say the situation is…ideal.However, with you being human, I also doubt you would willingly stay locked safely inside during all daylight hours, when I couldn’t be there to protect you.”
“You’ve got that right.”
