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Even as he said it, though, he didn’t offer to take me there, to change it as if it had been some big oversight.
I slammed items while I made coffee, figuring that if I broke something of Troy’s, I could replace it. The banging of items against his granite counters made me feel better, like each one was a curse word I didn’t have to say out loud.
Grant strolled into the kitchen, the first time I’d actually seen him since returning from hell. His hair wasn’t as neat as it had been, the sides having grown out.
He also looked a lot less well-rested than he had the first time we’d met, when he’d walked into my house to set up wards, as though he’d aged years in the months since then.
“The truth is that I’m always on jobs,” Grant said as if trying to make up for his statement. “I haven’t been to my house in two years.”
“How do you know it’s even there anymore?”
“Well, I’m sure as hell paying every month, so it had better still be there.”
“You’re paying on a house you never go to?”
He shrugged. “I got the house because it was the huge place that everyone is supposed to want. I just never have time to go there.”
I was nearly ready to let him off the hook until I remembered the whole ‘person following me when I bought tampons’ thing, and my annoyance came back front and center.
“Why are you here?” I asked and forced myself to only put enough coffee into the machine for one cup.
Was it petty?
Sure, but I felt like being petty right then.
“You didn’t pick up when I called you back last night.”
“Well, you’ve done that to me for weeks. I figured turnabout was fair play. Besides, I’m surprised you didn’t show up last night.”
“I thought a night with Troy might just wear you out enough to turn you docile. Judging by the way you’re slamming things around, though, it didn’t work. Might need to send him diagrams and directions if he’s this bad.”
I jammed my finger against the power button of the machine, then turned toward him, my arms crossed. “So get on with it. If whatever you had to say was so important, get it out.”
He narrowed his eyes, and for a moment, I remembered how much of a lie his youthful face was. I recalled the piles of ashes left behind when he incinerated a person, the suspicion the acting Magistrate had given him, the fact that he’d murdered the old guild council—including his own father.
Grant might look like a frat-boy rebel, but the reality was that he was so muchmorethan that.
“I didn’t mean to upset you last night,” he finally said, though his tone screamed it was a conversation he didn’t care to have.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not. Look, Ava, being back hasn’t been easy on any of us.” He sighed, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s been years since I’ve been around guild mages, since I’ve interacted with them in any real way. It isn’t exactly a leisurely stroll.”
His words made me take pause and take notice things I hadn’t before—darkness under his eyes, a bandage on his arm, spots of red soaking into the left leg of his pants.
“What happened?” I asked, starting to realize that perhaps it hadn’t been as simple as just ignoring me.
“I’m finding everything I can on Lilith, and when it comes to information, the rule is thatsomeoneat the guild knows. That means I’ve got to play games with people I haven’t in a long time, and let’s just say mages don’t play nice.”
“You could have told me. I could have helped.”
“I didn’t want to risk it, to give anyone any ideas about using you. Word’s spread about what you are, but a lot of people don’t believe it’s possible, or think you’re weaker than they say. I didn’t want to bring trouble to your door just because I couldn’t stay away.” He stared down at his hands, opening and closing them as if the motion meant something. “Haven’t had anything to risk except my own skin in a long time. Maybe ever.”
I let out a soft sigh while some of my hurt faded away. I was forced to remember that despite my recent issues, my life had always been less complicated than his.
I didn’t have a guild to deal with, a coven, a pack. My life had sat, as if on hold, while I’d been gone. Sure, I’d lost my job, but Kase had put someone in charge of my finances, making sure my bills got paid so I could come back to my house, at least.
The same wasn’t true of the others. Fredrick had smoothed things over with Troy’s boss, claiming a family emergency, though that had indebted Troy to the pack. Kase always had coven issues going on, and the crazed supernaturals hadn’t slowed, meaning there was more than enough work. Hunter was…well, I had no idea, but I had to assume it was important.
